People Don't Date No More, All They Do Is This

Shoutout to all you Dungeon Family fans out there in the blogosphere, as I had to draw title inspiration from the legendary hip-hop group, Goodie Mob for the title. Now, checking IN! Sound the horn!

Prior to the occurrence of a wedding bells symphony featuring an Uncle Ben’s rice chorus, two people must get to know one another thoroughly. In the past, people would date prior to “going steady”. This component of the courting process served more of a purpose than simply a stage in a person’s maturation; dating enabled the involved parties to learn the nuances of one another’s personality, PRIOR to entering into a monogamous relationship. I, personally, feel a large reason for the inability to resolve issues and/or co-exist productively, in general, stems from an ignorance of these nuances, which truly compose the other person.

PLEASE REMEMBER, THIS IS GENERAL SITUATION ANALYSIS!

As the situation stands now, either side of the dating negotiations operate from a distance. The institution of dating has been transformed from “ok, I’ll pick you up at 7:30” to “come on over around 11”, which might not be a problem IF both, ladies and gentlemen saw eye to eye on the main objective or even possessed similar associated feelings regarding the activities taking place. However, this is not the case. What is the case, you ask? Well, so happy am I that you inquired. Allow me…

Boy meets Girl and gets Girl’s number. Boy, then, texts Girl to initialize and continue conversation (Lol). Girl and Boy hang out at Boy’s spot. Boy becomes intrigued with and begins to like Girl, but he, still, has unresolved situations with Girl 2 and Girl 3. This is where the plot thickens because it could go a few different directions, and this is, typically, where communication breaks down.

Direction 1: Boy is honest with Girl explaining his situations with Girl 2 and Girl 3. Girl becomes offended because she believe in “monogamy at hello”, and she washes her hands of Boy, moving on, more than likely to…

Direction 2: Boy lies to Girl about Girl 2 and Girl 3 (probably because he dealt with the aforementioned Girl in “Direction 1”) and carries on dating the 3 girls until he is caught and deemed a liar, when lying was unnecessary from the start. Or…

Direction 3: Boy is honest with Girl explaining Girl 2 and Girl 3, and Girl, not so surprisingly, has situations with Boy 2 and Boy 3. However, instead of being understanding, the male ego interferes, and Boy flips out and drops Girl. But hopefully..

Direction 4: Boy and Girl can sit and have a civilized conversation explaining their situations and expectations for their relationship, which simplifies and minimizes conflict.

My advice is to avoid these frivolous games, plain and simple. HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THIS: “SINGLE” IS A FALLACY (YEAH I SAID IT)! A truly single person, as the great skeptics perceive it (no involvement with anyone), does not exist in vast numbers. Virtually everyone has a residual situation and more than likely will not let that situation go until confirmation that the new situation is greater than its predecessor. A true comfort level, whether real or perceived, holds such an invaluable nature that even when faced with something potentially great, people may cling to the past instead of venturing to take a chance on something unproven.

Place the cards on the table, as disclosure dispels ambiguity and promotes communication without fear of exit. Realize that people frequently have two options, and do not sabotage the presence of honesty by reacting irrationally.

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Takin' A Timeout With Just GQ

Thank you again for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! I wanted to switch it up and hit y'all with another vlog (video blog--no error), so I hope y'all enjoy! Check out WisdomIsMisery.com, boissuq.com, and OnyxLouisville.com too! They have been big supporters of Just GQ and are extremely entertaining sites! PLEASE COMMENT on my articles, as well, ESPECIALLY OnyxLouisville.com because there is a competition for its writers to see who can generate the most comments! LET'S GET THIS "W"! Thanks in advance! Enjoy "Takin' A Timeout With Just GQ"! Approach the scorer's table!

Keep Your Friends Close...

Surely, we are all aware of the often used adage, “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”, and while true, to an extent, more truth lies in the fact that great friends are one of the most difficult commodities to acquire.  I have, personally, been blessed to encounter a number of positive thinking people who strive to achieve their goals, encourage their family and friends to excel in all they do, and value all that encompasses true friendship.  I, also, received instruction from my elder family members, at a young age, to be mindful of whom I select to comprise my inner circle. 

As I have gained various life experiences, I have come to realize that “circle maintenance” is a MUST as we grow, adapt, and ACHIEVE!  Friends possess the unique trait of being an extension of family, and these extensions survive the natural tests of  separation which occur as life progresses and changes. 

I never believed when I was in high school that I would keep in contact with a single digit number of my 1600 classmates, and of those, I would only remain close to about two, but it happened just the same. The same scenario occurred in grade school, though more of us remain in contact, and I can expect nothing less than the same with college.  However, I am nothing but satisfied with the individuals who serve as the colors painting the portrait of my inner circle.  The people who you keep close to you reflect aspects of you, as a person, but if that is not the case perhaps an adjustment is in order.  Loyalty is one of the traits I value most, and in that spirit, true friends uplift and draw the best out of one another assisting in leaps to new heights!

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Love and Be Merry!

Happy Valentine's Day from Just GQ!

I’ll Just Wait..

Some call it being “fast”, while others feel it may be “unladylike” or not their responsibility. Whatever the reason, a class of women exists who lean on the thought process that “if he wants you, he will come get you.” (sigh) Now, while the aforementioned thought process does hold a degree of truth, please excuse my partisan opinion on this matter. This has been a MAJOR pet peeve of mine since I started dating, mostly because I am of the “don’t chase because chicks choose” team.

As I reminisce about the 15 year old version of myself, I remember meeting a girl. Let’s call her Savannah. Savannah, an attractive high school sophomore, was sought after by numerous guys in our and neighboring high schools. Following an introduction of Savannah to 15 year old me, we struck a conversation founded on common interests, which created a mutual desire to continue conversing at a later time, and with that, I suggested that we exchange numbers. Now, I will level with you all, since as far back as I can remember, I have been getting numbers, and for that same amount of time, I have RARELY been calling (I know, I know). However, this has not been an intentional habit, simply a consistent slippage of the mind, if you will, although, I did, eventually, call Savannah and we spoke for a standard 20-30 minute “getting to know you” phone call.

A couple days after our phone conversation, Savannah approached my locker and said, “I need to talk to you, call me tonight.” I replied by asking, “Why would I call you when you want to talk?” It was at that point that Savannah broke down the dynamics of her thought process, which yielded the rule of “ladies” needing to do nothing to show interest and should wait idly until they are fully pursued, and when I say “wait idly”, I mean performing nothing but ambiguous signs that can easily be misconstrued as friendly interaction.

Please do not mistake my stance on this issue as a plea to the female gender to act in an obsessive and/or promiscuous manner. My main beef with this state of thought correlates with the denseness of the male species. Men are utterly oblivious to hints, so thinking that indistinct actions will catch our attention is futile. Guys need billboards to get the message, so if you are sending middle school notes, you may get overlooked, and if that does occur, it is not his fault. You cannot blame someone for what they do not know.

Secondly, it is 2011; if women are equal and independent in EVERY other sense, then, surely, suggesting a phone number exchange or even a meeting of some sort (dinner, drinks, etc.) would be well within the expected capabilities. Do NOT miss out on potentially great relationships because of a refusal to take matters into your own hands! It does not make you fast (within reason); it shows initiative in pursuing what you want! If he wants you, he will make it happen. This is true, but the same truth applies on the other end.

Thanks for CHECKING IN THE GAME with Just GQ! If you are not following the blog, PLEASE do so NOW! Just scroll down and click the follow button in the right panel! Thanks, again, and GOD BLESS!

Hall of Famer To Head Coach

If you are a regular Just GQ’er, you know I am an avid sports fan with a high degree of loyalty to my teams, specifically the TENNESSEE TITANS! Today, Titans officials confirmed reports that Jeff Fisher’s successor will be none other than former offensive line coach, Mike Munchak.

Fisher was relieved of his coaching responsibilities via “mutual agreement” with the Titans’ front office following a tumultuous season; one which saw the team leap out to a 5-2, first-place divisional start, only to be plagued with coach-player disagreements, namely Fisher and Vince Young, a 1-8 finish, and who could forget the Andre Johnson beatdown of safety, Courtland Finnegan (sigh).

Yet, following, the announcement of an eventual Young release and Fisher being excused from the organization that made him the longest tenured head coach (16 seasons, 55% win pct.), team owner, Bud Adams appears to be leading things in a new direction, kinda.  Prior to being hired as the Titans’ leader, Munchak, a hall of fame offensive lineman for the Houston Oilers, coached the Titans’ offensive line, developing four players into Pro Bowl talents for a total of 10 invitations, and produced five different 1,000 yard rushers (George, Brown, Henry, White, and Johnson). However, the fact remains that Mike Munchak has only been involved with one organization as a player (’82-’94) and coach (‘94-’10), which holds various pros and cons, and is a first time head coach.

I believe Munchak to be a great middle ground hire, new face from the old organization, which allows for an established comfort level and easier transition of power for the players, coaches, and the organization, as a whole. While, undoubtedly, deserving of a head coaching opportunity, it will be interesting to see how Munchak alters the make-up and culture of the team. Who will be at the helm of the offensive attack next season, provided Young is released (NFL lockout may complicate things)? How will Munchak change the Titans’ offensive approach, if any at all, as a previous conservative play calling style has been a griping point of Titans’ fans since Steve McNair and Eddie George manned the Titans backfield?

One thing is for certain. It will be interesting to observe as the Titans organization grows and matures under a new leader. Best of luck to you, Coach Munchak. We will be pulling for you! TITAN UP!

Roses & Chocolates

As your local stores have begun changing their internal colors to red, pink, and white, I am certain that all of you know Valentine’s Day is upon us. Previously, I sent out a warning to the fellas charging them to screen Valentine’s Day interest, but this post speaks to gestures, which will convey the message you want to send. Now, you know I like to help in this department, and hopefully Christmas wishes for presents were answered following your viewing of “The Guy’s Guide to Gift Giving.” Only this time, we have entered the season of loooove (That was supposed to be my Barry White voice..lol).

So, where do I begin? Ah, yes. Roses and chocolates, the age old, cliché gifts; the ones with which no one can really go wrong, but just for kicks, of course, let’s expand our minds and get a little creative, shall we? Now, I am a student of the “Don’t Trick It to Kick It” school of thought (I know y’all liked that one! Lol!), and we learn that it is often better to put on a thinking cap than to pull out a wallet. Making memories that will last is the ultimate goal of gestures made to the opposite sex, non-verbal or verbal expressions of emotion. According to my research, the best way to accomplish this goal is to be original; to do something that no one else has done for him or her, so that person will associate that action or activity with you from that point forward. Feel free to consult “The Guy’s Guide” for statistics on specifically preferred gifts, by the way.

PLEASE do not take my reluctance to spend money as a slanted view on the topic. Expensive gifts will be appreciated and rightfully so, like any other gift, BUT it is in the opinion of THE PEOPLE that the most memorable instances occur as the product of thought, planning, and sometimes allocated funds as opposed to mindless purchasing. Hopefully, I have encouraged your creativity, giving the proverbial hamster in your mind energy to run the wheel of idea generation.

In case you are wondering why I offered no specific gift suggestions, it is because that would be counter productive to your creativity! Allow your inner artist to take hold and create a masterpiece for this Valentine’s Day! God Bless and happy romancing!