Monday, July 12, 2010

Fighting For Control

I MUST start by giving ALL GLORY, HONOR, and PRAISE to my LORD and SAVIOR Jesus Christ!  Partial inspiration for this blog derived from a Bible study service I attended last week at St. Stephen Church in Louisville, KY (Check them out if you get a chance).

Control within relationships changes hands like a game of hot potato.  Particularly earlier in relationships, a subliminal, undeniable struggle for control/power exists because no one wants to desire someone more than they are.

Think of a familiar relationship in its fledging stages, the gaming phase.  Place your interest and yourself on either side in a tug of war with the rope being the control of the relationship and the mudpit being the emotions felt.  1, 2, 3; PULL!  Allow the power struggle to begin. Sound familiar?

Though normal, these antics are juvenile at their core, as well as avoidable, if desired.  Depending on how the players play the game, the stress involved with the period of time in which personalities mesh or repel one another does not have to sub in.  When manipulation is the player’s go-to move, that party uses the tricks to gain control and yield a sense of dependency from the other person involved.  Plain and simple: One plays with the other’s head to make themselves feel needed.

Comfort and trust serve as the cement holding the bricks of the relationship structure together, and without those two fundamental materials the structure will disintegrate.  Once a level of comfort is reached between people then trust may start to be generated between the two parties.  Now, at this point, I know some of you are asking, “How can that level of comfort even be reached, Just GQ?”

Well, as I stated in “Run, Forrest, Run”, “Avoid overcomplicating simple situations and understanding can be achieved. Clarity lives in simplicity…”.

I starkly stated, in my humble opinion that dodging the tendency to add unnecessary variables to the equation allows for easier arrival at the solution.  Identification of what BOTH parties desire not only allows for clear direction of the relationship, it minimizes game playing and thus the power struggle for control ceases because it loses its importance. Expectations may be discussed and rationalized as feasible or of another sort, enabling clear vision and compromise to commence.  The optimum grade for a relationship is when a both people establish a mutual care for one another with a comfort level that allows for cools to be taken off and natural interaction to exist without pressure. 

Allow for natural progression WITHOUT forcing the issue.  Live in the moment until the moment evolves to become more, and keep situations low stress for easier coexistence.  Thanks for checking in the GAME with the Just GQ blog!  Keep the questions and comments coming.  I love hearing from you all (  God Bless!

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