Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Diggin' For Gold


In pursuit of an ideal mate, one MUST be able to identify the qualities, which hold a high level of importance to him/her.  I would venture to hypothesize that if you wrote down your top five attributes for your mate to possess, something in the neighborhood of ambitious, desire to excel, or successful would be included.  Rightfully so, in my humble opinion; I know it is, shamelessly, in my top five.  No one (I use this term knowing that some jerk out there would disagree solely for the sake of disagreeing) would find a bum with no ambition to be a qualifying candidate for the “future building sweepstakes”.  Nice title right? Lol..

Social constructs, on the other hand, have made us self-conscious about citing ambition as an endearing, attractive characteristic because of the possibility of earning the dreaded “gold digger” tag.  Cue Jamie and Kanye. “I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, but she ain’t..” (Clears throat) Allow me to continue. 

I ask you. What makes someone a gold digger?

Often the tag would be “awarded” (I chuckled a bit) to a young man/lady whose success and/or cash flow paled in comparison to the “goldmine”.  Athletes are repeatedly instructed to beware of girls using them for their earning power or, once the power is realized, the actual money.  I do have a bit of potentially SHOCKING news for you, though.  Athletes are NOT the only group of people with groupies.  In my experiences, I have arrived at the realization that potential is an extremely difficult thing to ignore, and someone will frequently admire from afar recognizing the potential for one’s success.  Computer engineers, lawyers, doctors, professors; all these and many more.  Mo’ money, mo’ problems? True. BUT mo’ money, mo’ groupies?  Certainly!  There is always someone looking for a meal ticket.

Remember, as the term gold digger is a societal term, the qualifications are of fluid nature.  So, again, I ask.  What makes someone a gold digger?  Is it the equality of funds and/or potential to generate them?  Does it lie in the timing of interest?  Many would agree that being down before the success negates the potential tag altogether.  Does this phenomenon even truly exist?  What do YOU think?  I am here to massage your brain and spark insightful thought, and with that said, I bid you adieu.  Thank you for checking in the GAME! Stay tuned, as I will be hitting y’all with more stuff soon! God Bless!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Happy Holidays!


MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY JUST GQ READERS! HOPEFULLY "JUST GQ'S GUY'S GUIDE" HELPED YOU IN YOUR PRESENT SELECTION! I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAYS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS!

-JUST GQ

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Past Is The Past, Right?



Intelligent? Check. Attractive? Check. Go-er? Hmm.. What exactly is promiscuity? How does one define how many is too many? Does a relationship negate the label? What if he/she is a serial monogamist? Hmm..

Because of this fluid definition, interpretations vary greatly, but one thing that remains constant is if someone fits your mold, they have probably fit someone else’s at an earlier time.  Translation: Everyone is someone’s former ___________ (fill in the blank). In my travels, I have observed that women are frequently more understanding of this unavoidable fact than their male counterparts, who shudder to think that, in a lady’s 20+ years on earth, someone could have possibly been in their position (negating the fact that various other females have been in hers).

Sidebar. And this is REALLY random!  I am on a plane right now, and I must say that I think first class is one of THE most ridiculous scams to extract more money from passengers. Slightly larger, slightly more cushioned seats, a cut bedsheet to separate you from the “common folk”, and all of these not-so-great features equal $150 added to your already expensive ticket?! No, thank you. Do you know how much stuff you can get with $150?! (Exhales.) Thanks for listening.  Now, back to the post.

Along with the aforementioned fact of previous employment (former whomever), comes comparison and eventual competition.  No one wants to be second or indistinct, unmemorable, etc., and thus, pop culture addresses the topic with songs like Trey Songz, “Does He Do It” and Kanye West’s, “Blame Game”, just to name a couple.  Everyone wants to be better than the past, constantly competing with the ghosts of relationship past. At the conclusion of “Blame Game”, Chris Rock performs a simulated conversation with a previous lover with whom he has reconvened for a second go round, after an affair with West. When Rock inquires about her vast improvements in various aspects of their relationship, she continuously responds with, “Yeezy taught me.”  Now, speaking as a proud man, this would be a NIGHTMARE for any self-respecting man; to be constantly reminded of another man being in your place.  Drawing from my observations, the insecurities, which behavior, such as this, spawns can cause significant damage, spelling a potential end for a relationship.

So I ask, should someone’s past affect how you impact his/her future?  Should we all take on the mindset that the past is the past, we just have to move forward?  In my humble opinion, the past should carry weight as to whether, or not, one INITIALLY enters the relationship, but once a new chapter begins, the past must planted, so the future can bloom.  It is impossible to focus on and develop a new relationship while obsessing over exes, who are distant memories and hold no meaningful importance, as obsession over uncontrollable factors can cloud one’s ability to progress with the present and future.  Concern yourself with writing a NEW chapter and building NEW, unique memories!

Thanks for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Stay tuned for more posts this week! Feel free to leave your comments on the blog! God Bless! Oh, and do NOT forget to FOLLOW JUST GQ! Click the “Follow” button in your right panel!  Thanks! è è è

Thursday, December 9, 2010

GIVE IT TO CAM!


In researching a blog about this year’s Heisman, I came across this gem by Fox Sports writer, Kalani Simpson, which says pretty much EVERYTHING I wanted to.. Hope you enjoy it! GIVE THIS MAN THE HEISMAN! 




“Here is the thing about Auburn quarterback Cam Newton: You have to give him the Heisman Trophy. Have to. He is the very embodiment, this season, of the most outstanding player in college football. He is what this season has been about. There are some seasons where there really isn’t anyone all that outstanding, and the guy who gets to go down in history is nothing more than the player who happens to receive the most votes that year. And other years  there are two or more good choices.

But this year it is Newton. He deserves it. There’s no getting around it – he IS it. He belongs with all those other greats, for all time. Put his portrait on the wall.

Really, the only reason to invite anyone else to New York for the ceremony is out of decorum. But here’s the other thing about Newton. The Reggie Bush thing – giving his Heisman back, under a cloud of allegations about cash and gifts – was, what, September? And now, in the very next go-round, we get this. This!

You have to give it to him. But there’s been enough smoke you have to think that there’s fire coming down the line. But the NCAA has declared him eligible, as of the voting, which ended Monday at 5 p.m. So you have to give it to him.

But even his own program – Auburn University! – has stipulated that Cam’s dad had his hand out, at least in regard to Mississippi State. You can’t make this stuff up. Reggie Bush sets the precedent. And in the very next election ... what is this, a set-up? Bush’s stiff arm was stripped (ahem, returned) because he was ineligible. Check that, he was eligible at the time, or he wouldn’t have been on the field in the first place. But it turns out he shouldn’t have been.

Well, Newton is eligible – he even has it on NCAA letterhead. But that doesn’t mean that anyone – including the NCAA – has stopped looking. That doesn’t mean this is over. That doesn’t mean any of us can breathe easy. And wait. What’s that smell? (Sniff, sniff.) Smoke. But you’ve got to give it to him. This whole thing is a Catch-22. Which brings to mind this old saying every Auburn fan knows by heart: Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.

But you could just as easily tweak it to this: Just because it's a witch hunt – and it has been that – doesn’t mean the guy (or his dad) hasn’t flown a broom and mixed up a little eye of newt. So what are we to believe? That Newton’s dad did a little fishing, and when no one bit, he ducked his head sheepishly and said, "Aw, well, never mind, then."

Or maybe it was this: Auburn’s a great program, sure. Auburn's a big-time team, one of the traditional powers. Auburn, what an education! Auburn, who wouldn’t want to go there? But go to Mississippi State? No, you’re going to have to pay me for that.

(Dear MSU friends: This is just a joke for dramatic effect. Please do not clang cowbells outside my house.)

And if you can’t buy any of this, well, Auburn fans can. They have to. This is their moment, and someone's trying to taint it. It seems this always happens to Auburn. (Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.) No, Auburn fans, they have to believe. (As I said in the wake of last week’s column, theirs is the classiest "hate" mail I’ve ever seen. True, one guy told me on Twitter to "go play out in traffic!" But I’m sure it’s only the 140-character limit that kept him from closing with "and a very happy holiday to you and your family." Hey, don’t worry, man. That’s how I heard it in my head.) So, here we are. A scant three months after we excoriate Reggie Bush, we get this. Cam karma. Catch-22. But he’s going to get it, and he won it. He’s the one. Self-important types can talk about "integrity" all they want. But to give it to anyone else would take the integrity out of the award.

Newton will take the stage in New York and hold that trophy high. How long will he actually hold it? Well, these days we handle it one thing at a time. In years past, Bush might have been there. I don’t know where he'll be as it happens. No doubt he’ll be shaking his head at the irony of it all.”

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Monday, December 6, 2010

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year


The turkey and dressing have been consumed. The tree has gone up. The mistletoe has been hung. It is OFFICIALLY the holiday season, and whether you know it or not, she is anxiously awaiting the exchange of gifts.

Never to fear, for the gentleman is HERE!

Men often struggle with the art of finding the perfect gift for the special women in their lives. The distinct gender specific personality attributes inhibit men from finding a balance between what she wants and what he feels is, in fact, necessary and appropriate. Men, generally speaking, undervalue qualities most women find endearing such as creativity and thoughtfulness because we think in a more practical, matter-of-fact mindset. What men must do is locate a middle ground between satisfying his female companion and his comfort level, in terms of the manner in which he spends his money. In the process of compiling this research, I came to find that while desiring similar feelings provided through receiving the perfect gift, the materialization of that gift differs greatly between sexes. I conducted a little study for myself; one, in which, I interviewed various types ladies to find out what, exactly, it is that they want for the holidays, and thus, I present to you…(drumroll please)… Just GQ’s Guy’s Guide to Gift Giving! Enjoy!



Thursday, December 2, 2010

Just GQ Featured on boissuq.com

Happy Thursday, Just GQ Readers! Hope the blog has been keeping your entertained thus far! Just GQ is being featured on boissuq.com! This is another great blog, and I am truly appreciative to have my posts appreciated and used by another site! So, please check out boissuq.com and follow @boissuq on Twitter! NOW! Just joking, but seriously.. Lol.. God Bless!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

You Play To Win the Game!

Good afternoon, Just GQ readers! This topic was selected per reader request via Twitter. Please continue to leave suggestions, questions, and topics about which you would like to hear AND FOLLOW THE BLOG (click the little button on the right panel as you scroll down the entry) PLEASE AND THANKS! NOW…Time to check in the game (sound horn)!
Let’s face it… Women are more emotional, generally speaking, than their male counterparts. Additionally, the goals of relationships vary in “regular” scenarios between sexes. With that being said, it is rare for guys to scout a woman, much less begin a new relationship, with hopes that it will result in wedding bells and an Uncle Ben’s rice shower. Please pardon the following Neanderthal-esque comment, BUT it was most simply and effectively stated by one of my former teammates. He said, “When I talk to a girl, I want to hit. Plain and simple. It all depends on how long she makes me wait. If she makes me wait long enough that I get to know her and start to like her, then she got me. BUT if she lets me hit early in the game, GAME OVER!”

By comparison, it is not at all uncommon for ladies to see a guy and romanticize a first date, relationship, anniversarIES, and “I do’s” in their fairy tale driven minds prior to him saying “So, I’ll pick you up at 7?” Naturally, women desire exclusivity; to be the ONLY person for their mate. Conversely, men think slight—completely different. Let’s talk about the current scenario. Women frequently comment on how a shortage of good guys exists (not exclusive to race), so if one is deemed “a good guy”, odds are he is being or has the potential to be pursued by multiple female interests at a time. Now, in these ladies’ pursuit, an apparent disregard for the competition often conveys a message of “I am the better catch, and I intend on showing you that. I don’t care about the other girl.” With that attitude, if you don’t care, then he most certainly does not either! If you want to compete, then he will provide an arena for you to do so, alternating between candidates. SMH!

In a society growing increasingly more comfortable with a lack of commitment, guys, essentially, find commitment to be optional because, well, it really is, especially when younger. Commitment is rarely respected by other members of BOTH sexes, and the illusion of a PERCEIVED upgrade constantly looms in the wings. For the aforementioned reasons, it is EXTREMELY difficult for a guy, who did not necessarily want a commitment, initially, to fall for someone, letting his guard down completely, benching all the other girls he had on the floor, and completely focusing on one. It leads to an unfamiliar (and often unappreciated) feeling of vulnerability, which makes guys uncomfortable. Additionally, remaining with her through the senseless conflict, now adds anxiety, whereas prior to full commitment, it had been a non-issue, as if one girl tripped, the remedy was only a scroll, selection, and phone call away. *Kanye shrug*

I know all the ladies are heated, thinking or saying, “So what?! We have to do all that too, and I stay when he trips on me. I got plenty of dudes who—“ Chill on that. Keep in mind that you wanted a relationship early in the game. More than likely, a relationship was your objective from the start, as, rarely, do females only want to be someone’s physical outlet. Rebuttal? Thought so; moving right along.

The aim of this post is not to claim that guys invest more in relationships, but to provide perspective of the difficulty involved when he, voluntarily, excuses himself from the game to take a full timeout with you. I, personally, tip my hat to my fellow males and females, who recognize a valid match and commit without straying.

Thanks for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Stay tuned for more posts! Follow the blog by clicking the button in the right panel! Leave your comments and questions on the blog! God Bless!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Stand Firm!

Good Day, Just GQ readers. Amongst all the narcissistic people in the world, who convince themselves that everyone is “hating on them” (Shoutout to Lana “igotsomanyhaters” Jones, somewhere on Facebook), true haters do, actually, exist in most circles and play an undeniable role in life’s play. Haters, dream killers, antagonists, etc. essentially serve as a human manifestation of adversity. Given that, I ask: How do you approach obstacles? Do you take them head on? Do you maneuver around them? Do you just ignore them?

Regardless of your approach, one thing remains certain. As naysayers read from, what seems to be a never-ending script, YOU MUST KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND FOR WHAT YOU STAND! Sometimes you just have to travel with two birds ready to flip anyone who attempts to de-rail you from your objective (gentlemanly birds, of course). This principle ventures into another realm passing simple confidence because confidence can be false, but true self-assuredness is conveyed through actions. The resilience that one displays when told something is impossible exudes a Hulk-like strength of character.

Who validates YOU? Are you firm within yourself, or do you need a multitude of people around you patting you on the back telling you how great you are?

The manner in which one expresses him/herself speaks volumes about that person, as a whole, and often the messages we send about ourselves do not coincide with the message we think we send.

Let’s do a little exercise.

1. Think of three adjectives (describing words) that accurately depict who you are, as a person.
2. Arrange these in order of importance to you: Education, Family, Faith/Religion, Extracurricular Interests (Sports, Music, Writing etc.), and Attainment of your goals.
3. If a random person talked to one of your friends, what would be three words he/she would use to describe you?

With this in mind, can you, now, more effectively identify what is most important to you? Would the adjectives you used to describe yourself match with your friends’ description? If so, then kudos and continue, but if not, perhaps, you should revise the manner in which you present yourself, and re-evaluate your priorities. If you do not know who you truly are, then how can you expect anyone else to have a clue? Think on that!

Thanks for CHECKING IN THE GAME with Just GQ! PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO FOLLOW THE BLOG! Receive direct blog post and Just GQ updates via e-mail! God Bless!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Titan Turmoil in Tennessee?

Yesterday, in a surprising overtime loss to the subpar Redskins, the focus transferred from the former AFC South leading Titans to the sideline circus that is head coach, Jeff Fisher, and quarterback, Vince Young. The continuous behind the scenes battle between coach and quarterback reached, yet, another boiling point when Young tore a tendon in his thumb, and after getting it evaluated, taped, and ready for a return to action was refused re-entry to the game in favor of 6th-round rookie draft pick, Rusty Smith, which led to the Titans’ 3rd consecutive loss. Following the game, reports detail Vince throwing his shoulder pads into the stands in frustration before getting dressed and leaving the locker room as Fisher addressed the team. When Fisher appealed to Young asking him to not walk out on his team, Young responded by saying, “…I am running out on you.”

To Titans fans, this saga is quite familiar, as VY has NEVER been Jeff Fisher’s quarterback of choice. In revisiting the 2006 draft when the Titans selected Young, Fisher and, then, offensive coordinator, Norm Chow, strongly lobbied for former USC quarterback, now, NFL bust, Matt Leinart. Since then, Young has compiled a 30-17 record (64%) as a starting quarterback, leading the Titans to a playoff berth in his rookie season. Fisher, on the other hand, possesses a 136-110 record (55%) as the NFL’s longest tenured head coach with one Super Bowl appearance.

While, owner, Bud Adams, who has always been a Young supporter, ultimately holds the trump card in this duel, I ask, to what do we attribute this fallout? In one corner, Vince Young, the proven NFL quarterback without a coach who has his back, and in the other corner, Jeff Fisher, the 16-year head coach, whose reputation as a player’s coach does not seem to apply to Mr. Young. DING DING!

FACT: Following an OUTSTANDING rookie season, one in which Vince Young won the Rookie of the Year award, he experienced an emotional breakdown when he was booed during a subpar outing in Tennessee. Young refused to go back into the game, and consequently, Kerry Collins finished the game and the season, leading the Titans to a playoff berth.

FACT: The Titans went 0-6 last year with Kerry Collins as the quarter back, before Bud Adams forced Fisher to switch to Vince Young. The Titans, then, went 8-2, barely missing a playoff berth.

ANALYSIS: While it is clear that Jeff Fisher fosters a personal vendetta against Vince Young, it is Young who continues to handle situations poorly and seemingly justify Fisher’s unjustifiable biased actions. So what? Vince has never been Fisher’s guy. He has ALWAYS been Bud’s guy! The owner > The coach. Prior to his injury, Young went 12-16, boasting a completion percentage of 75%! SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT! Everyone with eyes could see Vince was good to go, as he warmed up on the sideline, but Fisher, using weak rationale for his decision, went with Rusty Smith, who probably does not even know the playbook thoroughly.

When Vince handles situations poorly, he brings the spotlight on himself when it should be on a coach, obviously tampering with the confidence and psyche of his star quarterback. Vince Young has arguably saved Fisher’s tenure on two occasions, yet Fisher uses the SLIGHTEST reason to bench Young whenever plausible, but again, it is Young, who makes his actions plausible through his RE-actions.

For my comparative exhibit, I utilize, one, Donovan McNabb. McNabb was booed when the Eagles drafted him and from the media to his teammates has been the target of consistent and somewhat unfair scrutiny, plaguing his career, BUT McNabb has remained the consummate professional. He has never blinked, despite all the adversity, and this is why the league and public, with the exception of Philly, hold McNabb in the regard they do. Both parties are at fault but one is the instigator and the other the reactor.

Is a personnel change necessary in Tennessee, now that Young has been placed on injured reserve, deactivating him for the remainder of the season? I will leave that up to you for discussion.

Adventures in the Baby Mama Era

Disclaimer: This blog is an ANALYSIS. PLEASE take it as such.

In a recent story released by CNN, 40% of people polled felt that marriage was obsolete and unnecessary to life. While, certainly, an alarming statistic, should it really be that surprising in the “Era of the Baby Mama”? The study, also, distinguished the primary reasons for the perceived decline in the amount of priority placed on marriage existing in the desire to achieve one’s individual goals and the lack of associated privileges. In Layman’s terms, people want to accomplish everything they want BEFORE marriage, instead of building with someone in marriage. Because both, men and women, are able to achieve financial independence, marriage is unneeded for financial stability.

Oh, and associated privileges? Seldom activities are, now, saved for the institution of marriage. Sex? Virgins are more uncommon than a bald eagle being kept as a pet by a 10 year old. Children? Try again. Hence the term “Era of the Baby Mama”, and to top it off divorce rates are soaring at 50%! So, I pose the question: What are we to do when everything around us sends an anti-marriage message? On the one hand, we could give up, as a people, impregnate whomever, and live our lives as bachelors and bachelorettes until we hit 50, and then, settle down with someone we can tolerate. OR we could identify the problem and work through it.

Is it possible that we have become too obsessed with outsmarting our fear of experiencing a failed marriage? Has our pessimistic certainty that if we marry, we would be in the divorce half instead of the “happily ever after” half consumed us? Perhaps, as the frequency of divorce has risen, marriages have become viewed more as relationships with divorce as the option of a more complicated break-up prior to moving onto the next marriage or vacation in Singlesville, where people live it up until they get lonely, then, become desperate for exclusive and meaningful affection. POW!

There is a distinct reason why arranged marriages boast a divorce rate of 5%, as opposed to when the divorce card is in the deck, and it gets played like the big joker in spades. Now, clearly, I am not married, but while that may be true, I do know that work in ANY relationship is pivotal, and if one has not prepared himself (or herself) to make an effort in ALL aspects of a marriage, then maybe you should return the ring to Jared’s.

For my exception seeking readers, I do not completely disagree with the option of divorce, only when it is just utilized as a cop out, a button to push to return to the single life simply because hard times have been encountered. I realize that poor relationships exist, and people change, but there is much to be said for truly taking a relationship slowly, getting to know the person, learning the nuances of his or her personality, and observing one’s actions in various situations, to help provide clarity in both parties’ minds of how compatible the two of them, TRULY, are.

To bring it home, while not a necessity to life, I believe marriage serves as an accent, an opportunity to build and share a life with one’s counterpart, and when successful, it is an undeniably beautiful exhibit to behold. Do NOT fear what great can come from the institution of marriage. Choose your partners more carefully, and once in a marriage, work to preserve its sanctity. One of my followers on Twitter, @Pinkroyal, tweeted an insightful remark in response to the marriage statistics, “Without optimism towards life & the institutions of marriage, family, religion, etc., what would be the point? A gloomy life is none at all.” Think on that.

Thanks for CHECKING IN THE GAME with Just GQ! Hopefully, I raised some eyebrows and got the hamster in your mental wheel some exercise (Wait for it!) Stay tuned to Just GQ for more updates, and leave your comments on the blog! God Bless!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

NEW Just GQ Promotional Poster!

What do you think? Comments?

Friday, November 12, 2010

Thank You, Twenty-Three


Education. Triumph. Trial. Tribulation. Achievement. These present only a slight snapshot of the components involved in one’s maturation as a person.  As I am on the brink of celebrating another year of life, which God has allowed me to see (PRAISE HIM!), I can unequivocally state that my Heavenly Father has granted me with a number of life lessons that have facilitated my progression as a man.

According to 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”

Now, I am not saying that I exhibit the portrait of manhood because I do not. I, like everyone else should, strive to improve daily, but in a world filled with a number of questions and an unequal amount of answers, the ability to learn from mistakes holds invaluable importance.  I am not going to bore you with all the lessons I have learned during the past year and whatnot because I do not place the value of my experiences over yours, but I have experienced an array of events from vital steps take in the direction of my career to the untimely death of one of my best friends.

I will, however, share a few sentiments, which I hold close to me and attempt to adopt in my daily living.

1)    Praise Him & Have Faith! With the amount of uncertainty existing, everyone needs something solid to which they can hold. GOD IS THAT ROCK! Life is too short to not foster a viable relationship with the Creator.
2)    Value Those Around You! Cherish the people that bring joy to your life. Not to say that death will remove them from your life, but various factors cause people’s priorities and personalities to change, which alter relationships. Also, re-evaluate who is necessary in your life. Who lifts you up? Who brings you down? Who do YOU lift up? Who do YOU bring down?
3)    Adjust Your Focus & ACHIEVE! As we, undoubtedly, exist to PRAISE GOD and live according to His Will, what better way to bring GOD glory than to use the gifts with which He Blessed you to ACHIEVE in HIS NAME! Priorities provide direction, and constant evaluation of where your compass is leading you remains vital!
In summary, I am filled with immense gratitude for all that I have been afforded and will be afforded as I progress into true manhood as one of God’s children. Embrace struggle as success for it is in struggle that character is formed!

Thank you for CHECKING IN THE GAME WITH JUST GQ! I appreciate y’all letting me reflect and vent for a little bit. Stay tuned to Just GQ for more posts! God Bless!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Cheers To The Editor


“She say I'm too wild, she wanna tame me; I told her 'even Photoshop couldn't change me” -Drake

I interpreted this lyric to express a valuable sentiment in his verse on “Digital Girl”. For some strange reason, women often think they know what men mean better than men do.  Allow me to dispel this rumor at the beginning for those who need it spelled out for them.  YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM! SO DO NOT TRY!

KEEP IN MIND: Topics covered in Just GQ are RARELY gender specific. Lessons apply to EVERYONE!

Whew! I am happy we got that out of the way.  Basically, men evaluate a woman’s—hmm…let’s call it, “staying potential” within knowing her for about two quality interactions.  Your first impression is truly pivotal in the manner by which you are perceived.  Now, I am all too familiar with the thought process women adopt when they want to “fix him up” or “if I could just change this one thing”, but people’s behavior reflects habit. Thus, people must make a conscious effort to alter their habits in order for a change in behavior to occur AND REMAIN.  Your desire for someone to act in a different manner will more than likely not adopted and accepted by them in a genuine fashion. 

Most commonly, women believe they gain the success in changing him for which they longed because they observe temporary change.  Women, generally, recognize the aforementioned change as a proclamation of HIS shared desire to transform because HE felt this amendment to his behavior was necessary. In Layman’s terms, women think he changed because he wanted to, BUT the actuality of the situation (in most cases) is he changed because of the pressure she provided and it is nothing but a screensaver until the system reboots (Word to the nerds!). 

The other frequent attempt at change (outside of characteristic modification) occurs when one party avoids comprehending the message “I am not lookin for a girl/guy right now.”  During a conversation, I was told, “When guys tell girls they don’t want to be exclusive, girls just hear ‘TRY HARDER!’”  Pulling from my personal experiences, I have realized that through narcissistic proclamation, whether verbal or mental, when someone feels they are the better deal, they think you should feel the same.  This is a fallacy, for both males AND females.  Remember, ambiguity is clarity’s enemy, so when you are given a clear message, take it as such.

Word to the wise. Do not try to change people.  No one is perfect, however tolerance is key because there are, more than likely, some aspects of your personality that require toleration too.  If you cannot deal with the certain characteristics, go back to the store and continue shopping.  We have, now, reached the check out line. Lol.

Thank you for CHECKING IN THE GAME!  Thank you for continuing to check in on a regular basis. Stay tuned for more updates on Just GQ! God Bless!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Return of Mr. Kanye West

Innovative creation or abstract confusion? These ideas embody the impressions left on viewers of Kanye West's new video showcased in a 35-minute short film, Runaway.  The video depicts a phoenix that crashes to earth in a fiery blaze before being rescued by Mr. West, who takes her (Selita Ebanks) to his house where he teaches her how to adapt to society.  Mr. West walks us through a number of new tracks, which debuted on the "G.O.O.D. Friday" series of his website (kanyewest.com), as he details the framework of societal norms.  The controversial musician, who also directed the project, utilizes the phoenix to symbolize the constraint on uniqueness in an environment slow to accept innovation and change.

While the project has received mix reviews, as Kanye West receives mixed reviews, one thing is certain.  Kanye West has undoubtedly expanded the spectrum through which we see the cohesion of music and art.  The exquisite use of imagery and alternate sources of conveyance are simply unavoidable when viewing this piece.  Mr. West's forward thinking dwarfs pop culture's common staples of money, cars, clothes, and objectifying women.  While the video displays a higher level of living and a beautiful woman (phoenix in this case), the portrayal is done so artistically and uncommonly.  Kudos to Mr. West. 

I, for one, CANNOT WAIT for the release of his newest project, "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy", on November 22nd! Welkome Back, Mr. Kanye West! We missed you!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Just GQ Featured on www.WisdomIsMisery.com

Good afternoon Just GQ readers! I just wanted to talk to you for a little bit, if you do not mind, of course.  Just GQ is being featured on www.WisdomIsMisery.com RIGHT NOW! "Who Murdered Chivalry"! Check out @WisdomIsMisery's (follow him on twitter!) site and LEAVE COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS! CHECK IN THE GAME!







Thursday, October 21, 2010

UNITE FOR DANIEL COVINGTON

In mid-September, my teammate, roommate, and friend, Daniel Covington was unjustly shot and killed in a racist attack (google "Daniel Covington").  The Covington family has reached out to ALL who knew Daniel to write letters to Commonwealth Attorney Dave Stengal to make sure they charge Isaiah Howes with the murder of Daniel Covington.  I am posting my letter as a template for ALL to follow.  PLEASE join me in writing a letter to deliver justice to my dear friend, his family, friends, and all know knew him! Send your letters by FRIDAY PLEASE!


Send letter to:
Louisville Metro Commonwealth Attorney Dave Stengel
514 W. Liberty St. Ste. 240
Louisville, KY 40202

and send duplicate letter to:
The Justice Resource Center
115 Steedly Drive
Louisville, KY 40214



"Attorney Stengal:

With the abundance of emotional outpour in Louisville, Lexington, and the state, as a whole, the immense impact Daniel Covington had on the people with whom he came in contact is clearly apparent.  Daniel has been repeatedly characterized as a God-fearing, ambitious, caring, selfless, and peaceful gentleman who loved volunteering his time to children (BEFORE and after his untimely death).  The uproar by those, who even, only met Daniel once, when the initial reports detailed his ALLEGED actions pales in comparison to the character references of the killer, Isaiah Howes. 

Merriam-Webster defines “character” as “the complex of mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person”.  Daniel distinguished himself in a manner that sparked outrage when details inconsistent with his character were INCORRECTLY conveyed.  Howes, on the other hand, possesses a laundry list of prior illegal instances including weapons, DUI, drugs, disrespecting authorities, and most importantly VIOLENCE (both under the influence AND not).  Where was the outrage when these reports were released?  When behavior is consistent, it becomes expected.  Howes has made a habit of substance abuse and belligerent violence, and regardless of whom his father is, the perceived objectives of the justice system remain constant; to provide justice and preserve order and safety.

I implore you; CHARGE Isaiah Howes with the murder of Daniel Covington WITHOUT the umbrella of self-defense.   Since when is it acceptable to harass others, bombarding them with a barrage of racial slurs?  Since when is it acceptable to SHOOT someone dead in a fist fight instigated by the shooter? How is it feasible for one man to beat up two men, one of whom is larger than him, through an SUV window?  What effect will this have on the public perception of self-defense and freedom to fire without consequence?  I charge you to answer these questions, consider the implications of this incident, and deliver justice for a mourning mother, family, and community.  Thank you and GOD bless!

Best regards,

(Name here)

My relationship to Daniel: Friend, U of L Football Teammate (2005-2009), and Roommate"

LET'S GO! UNITE FOR DANIEL COVINGTON! 

Friday, October 15, 2010

Too Perfect To Play


I, once, heard that women are confusing, but men are complicated.  I understood this to mean that women’s behaviors may never make sense to men, no matter how hard we try to decode and empathize, but with men, you can, at least, grasp what we do and why we do it, whether right or wrong.  For the most part, I agree except for what I call the “Too Perfect Complex”.  The too perfect complex identifies the propensity of men to run from something that is “too good.”  As the majority of women desire love whenever Cupid shows his face, men possess a need to be prepared for a dance with the bow and arrow toting, naked baby. 

Meet Dick and Jane.

Dick and Jane had only officially met once, but they had a number of mutual friends who caused them to be in the same places at the same times.  Dick can only be described as a man’s man, the life of the party.  He had always encountered women pining for his affection, while he rarely took them seriously, as he, like other young men, was just having fun.  Jane, an attractive and ambitious woman, remained focused on her progression through school and work while taking rare breaks to have fun but NEVER allowing any man to distract her.  Jane, like the majority of women, longed to be loved, romantically, and had been a phenomenal girlfriend in the past, with only rising value as she shined amongst the shortage of attractive, intelligent women striving for success.

During a mutual friend’s cookout, Dick and Jane interacted on a more intimate level, this time with general conversation, jovial joking, and innocent flirting, which progressed to intrigue. 

FAST FORWARD!

Three months later, in addition to attraction, Dick and Jane have established a genuine mutual care for one another, but had not yet become exclusive.  As the period of time, which men are generally allotted by female counterparts to avoid commitment, neared its conclusion, voices of descent (i.e. her hating friends) begin to arise.  “Girl, how come y’all not official yet?” “Mm hmm. I would NOT let him test drive the car if he ain’t buyin’!”

First off, tell those heffers to kick rocks. STRAIGHT UP! Now back to the story!

Influenced by the sentiments of her friends, Jane approached Dick with the dreaded, “so when are we going to be together?” When confronted with this question, Dick evaluated what he desired in a mate, and he identified everything he wanted in Jane.  Seems like a go, right? WRONG! Dick, then, panicked and felt that he must remove himself from the situation, as Jane’s, inevitable ultimatum drew closer. You see, as I have shared in earlier blogs, an entry into a relationship, on the man’s part, must be an internal decision and NOT one that can be 100% influenced by a woman, no matter how many meals she cooks, rooms she cleans, or “special nights” she plans. Both parties must migrate to exclusivity on their own terms, but women usually happen to reach that destination more quickly than men.

Sometimes it is about the timing; Dick wanted to be with Jane, just not at that moment, and NO ONE is at fault.  Dick perceived a potential relationship with Jane as one that would have been of great substance, and his desire to be prepared and willing to HAPPILY commit outweighed his sensitivity to her wanting him to commit ready or not (SHOUTOUT TO THE FUGEES! LOL..).  At times, women do not appreciate when they are treated as classy, respectable ladies instead being thrown onto a team, where she will receive only a fraction of the attention, affection, and consideration that she wants, needs, and, most importantly, deserves.

Thanks for CHECKING IN THE GAME! Leave your comments and questions just below the entry, and STAY TUNED for more Just GQ! GOD BLESS!

Monday, October 4, 2010

"What Makes A Man Commit"

During my limited leisure time, I frequently drift into the sultry selections of my iTunes while perusing other blogs providing views similar and/or contrary to my own on an array of subjects.  Recently, I came across an article by an insightful writer by the name of @WisdomIsMisery (follow him on Twitter!) entitled "What Makes A Man Commit". Per his permission, I leaped at the opportunity to share some of his sentiments with my JustGQ readers! 

Please approach the scorer's table, as it is time to CHECK IN! (Horn sounds..)

"Boissuq.com: When men are ready to settle down, they go with whatever is right there at that moment. Luck of the draw…


I concur. Getting a man to commit is like getting hit by lightening, you just have to be at the right place at the right time. Word to big bird. Let me explain why.
Most women spend the greater part of their post-pubescent lives thinking of the qualities they would like in their man. I’m not saying they’re obsessed with it but women tend to  have an idea of what they want in a man because they’ve been thinking about it longer than men have been thinking about what they want in a woman. Namely, because men spend about 3 – 12 months thinking about what they want. In addition, it’s usually when they’ve already found ‘The One.’ In other words, they begin asking themselves, “Can I see myself with THIS woman?” not “What kind of woman am I looking for?”
This might have to do with the nature of dating. Women get approached and men approach. Therefore, women need to be more intuitive in what they want; whereas, men just have to receive reciprocity (Lauryn Hill!). In layman’s terms, most men go out looking for s*x and sometimes they find a relationship along the way. Women assess relationship potential and sometimes they have s*x.
There are two additional factors:

Factor #1) Women tend to have specific criteria. Using myself as an example, I cannot come up with 10 things I need in a woman. I can barely come up with 10 things I want. My list basically goes like this:

1) Be attractive……
Then there’s an addendum of things that would be nice to have, like
1a) Intelligence
1b) < 3 kids, preferably 0.
1c) see #1.

That’s it. If a woman has those qualities, I’m happy. Anything in addition to #1 is a BONUS to me.
On the other hand, I have women friends who have very specific criteria:

1) Must be this height
2) Have a college degree
3) Be this race
4) Have this belief in God; and
5) – 100) etc. etc.

More importantly, they wont stray from the list. It’s either all or nothing.
So there may be ‘plenty of fish in the sea’ but women fish with a specific bait for a specific fish; men fish with a net and decipher between the keepers later.

Factor #2) In WIM’s humble opinion, women have difficulties finding all the qualities they want in one man. Men have difficulty accepting all they want in one woman. In other words, men say they want a “lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets,” but then can’t handle this in one woman. As a result, they’ll have two (or more) women for each role. The one they can respect as a woman (the main) and the one they can respect as a freak (the side chick). Not only is this unfair to the women, it reinforces that (some) men can’t handle what they desire."

Thank you for checking in the GAME with Just GQ and my featured guest, Wisdom Is Misery.  Check out his blog (wisdomismisery.com) and follow him on twitter (@wisdomismisery)! Stay tuned as a JustGQ post will be coming later in the week.  Hit the JustGQ e-mail (JustGQ50@gmail.com), or feel free to leave questions and/or comments on the blog.  God Bless!

Monday, September 27, 2010

A Letter To My Brother

Daniel,

It had only been a week since we last spoke, but I wish I could call you and just hear you answer now. To us, selfishly, you were taken too early, but in our hearts we know that you are seated at the table with Our Father, and for that I am thankful.  While that may comfort us in our knowledge of your current, heavenly state, it still does not discontinue an occasional tear drop as memories consume us in the void your enormous presence vacated.

You are my brother; bonded on many levels, and I love you as such.  We competed as brothers, argued as brothers, and kicked it as brothers, lifting each other up and always looking out for one another.  In the last week, I have been bombarded by memories of times we shared and been surrounded by loved ones, who all love you. I am truly indebted to you as you were and continue to be responsible for expanding my circle of family and life friends. Thank you for welcoming me into your family and inner circle.

Your influence on people continues on in a major way as shown by the massive turnout you drew at your last party. Thank you for being a genuinely kind person, one who stood up for people and shamelessly loved to enjoy life with those who meant most to you. Daniel, I am going to miss you terribly; we all are.  I love you, Bro. Until I see you again, my brother.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

What, exactly, IS A Good Relationship?

Quite frequently when I speak with women and men alike, both express the desire to be in a “good relationship” with a “good man/woman”, and quite frequently these sentiments leave me confused with a vague impression of what, precisely, qualifies, as a “good relationship with a good man/woman”.  So, naturally, I channeled Sherlock and good ole’ Watson and began to ask some questions.  What exactly makes a good relationship?  Is it the time the relationship occupies? Must it be longer than a year, two years, or result in marriage?  Are all marriages portraits of good relationships? 

During my investigation, I spoke with my high school sweetheart. Now, to give a little insight, my high school sweetheart was really the first girl to have me open and helplessly falling in love.  She was ALSO the only girl to truly break my heart (cue the AWWW!).  Since we broke up my freshman year, we have had sparing conversation as she has continued with her life, and I have done likewise.  BUT, in this conversation, the gratitude that I felt for our relationship was more apparent than ever because as I explored my past adolescent feelings I, once, had for this young woman, I realized the lessons I learned through that relationship.

As I matured past the hurt of a young boy’s first heartbreak, I saw the manner in which we interacted, and I could identify what it would take for ladies to check in the game with Just GQ in the future.  Feel me?  I learned NOT TO SETTLE and learned what makes a relationship good to me, personally, which are some of the most important relationship lessons I have learned in my short existence. 

Personally, I qualify a foundation of friendship, genuine care for the other’s well-being, attraction/chemistry (personality and physical), compromise, and understanding as the makings of a good relationship.  More specifically, I categorize my relationship with my high school sweetheart as a “good relationship” because it allowed me to LEARN and GROW as a person, so I could better contribute to future productive relationships.  Growth holds pivotal importance in surroundings saturated with bitter people who refuse to take mature stances acknowledging poor personal decisions, which assisted in the demises of relationships past.

Dare to be DIFFERENT, and LEARN from past experiences to facilitate your GROWTH!  Thank YOU for checking in the GAME with Just GQ and for helping the blog grow in popularity! Keep CHECKING IN as I will keep serving up the topics about which you want to hear!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Heisman Striptease?

The speculation of Reggie Bush being stripped of his Heisman trophy drenched today’s sports news headlines.  The decision is pending due to a meeting (to occur by the end of September) of the Heisman Trust, a committee of a seven, pro bono, trustees who “are guided by a devotion to college football and are committed to community service and the valued tradition which the Trophy represents” (heisman.com).  If the Trust strips Bush, now an impact player for the Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints, this would be the first instance of this EVER happening in the 75-year history of the award.  The hinge of the debate hangs upon the rule stating the award shall be received by an eligible player, a title of which five years later, Bush was deemed unworthy.

In an era engulfed by performance enhancing drugs, it is baffling that this issue holds the weight it does.  Bush utilized NONE of the drugs ingested by dozens of impact baseball players who are commonly accused, convicted, and forgiven prior to receiving the “hero” tag they wore once before, and claiming Reggie Bush as the FIRST and/or ONLY college football player/Heisman winner to receive “extra benefits” would be a far cry from reality.  More accepted fact lies in the purpose of the Heisman trophy, which is to recognize and honor the most outstanding player in college football.  In 2005, that was Reggie Bush.

In the midst of a USC dynasty, Reggie Bush shined brightly among a cornucopia of highly regarded NFL draft picks.  During his 2005 campaign, which ended in status as the nation’s number two team, Bush rushed for 1,740 yards and 17 total TDs, and he tallied a whopping 42 TDs in three years at USC!  Need I remind everyone that, numbers aside, Reggie Bush is arguably THE MOST DYNAMIC college football player EVER! 

As far as the Heisman trophy is concerned, voters and nonvoters alike shared my sentiments as Bush racked up the HIGHEST percentage of first place votes in the history of the Heisman trophy (84%) in a landslide vote placing him above Vince Young, who would later undo the USC powerhouse in one of the greatest national championship games, and Matt Leinart, winner of the previous year’s Heisman.  Bush also won the Doak Walker, Walter Camp, and Pac-10 player of the year awards clearly crowning him the MOST OUTSTANDING PLAYER in college football during the 2004-2005 season.  Let’s not fall into a witch hunt plaguing Reggie Bush as the scapegoat for years of players receiving “extra benefits” and tip-toeing around NCAA regulations, while Matt Leinart cuddles his Heisman and Pete Carroll conveniently slid out of the backdoor to the pro ranks, which prior to now held limited appeal to him.


Monday, September 6, 2010

Press Forward!


Greetings Just GQ readers!  I apologize for my recent absence, but the subject of this Just GQ speaks to the reasoning for that.  I recently relocated in order to set the train holding my future plans on the tracks with the advancement of my education in a more concentrated fashion.  As I have continued my progression through the levels of self-evolution, I have realized that in order to achieve the goals you should have already set for yourself (and we spoke earlier about goal setting in a previous Just GQ), it is a MUST that you PRESS FORWARD!

Throughout the stages in the maturation process, people evolve in relation to their environments and what holds importance to them, and because of that relationships sometimes suffer.  I have been deemed selfish in multiple situations due to my apprehension to carry relationships with me as I have changed settings, and there are, as in every situation, pros and cons to this alternative.  I am a firm believer that as you strive for achievement it is PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE to be selfish, in terms of the distribution of focus on self as opposed to others because to be bluntly honest, relationships will come and go, and as they go if more concentration is placed on others than self, self-neglect takes place and the amount you have to contribute to a relationship becomes diminished. 

Conversely, as I have matured, I have realized that while the aforementioned sentiments remain true, there is a definite possibility that a significant other can enhance your progression rather than inhibit it.  Communication wears an appropriate suit in the majority of situations, and this scenario bears no exception.  There have been times when I have been hasty and stubborn in my reception to include others in the decisions I have made.  Typically, I would automatically outcast significant others upon the completion of the decision making process, and depending on the stage of life this practice may be a wise one, BUT perhaps an evaluation of the effect your significant other could have on your experience should be in order. 

How can you evaluate this, you ask?  Peruse your past experiences with this person.  How have you all interacted prior to this point?  Have they been supportive of your advancement, or have they caused more problems?  Are they understanding of your focus and the importance of attaining your goals?  As settings change and the path the dreams becomes realized, understanding and compromise on both ends play an extremely pivotal role, and at this point compromise checks in the game!  If you know your significant other has fundamental needs in their personality that must be satisfied in order to keep them happy, MAKE A REASONABLE EFFORT to satisfy these needs with priority and respect to the achievement for which you strive.  In regards to the other party, your UNDERSTANDING and SUPPORT are vital!  Encourage the person for whom you care deeply; be a rock on which they can lean as opposed to the trap of quicksand causing them to sink!  As support systems hold essential importance, it would not be intelligent to phase people out who may be helpful to your overall progression because as I shared with you in “Falling For the Future”, when support, compromise, and communication are present, “as they strive, you strive, and as they reach, you reach!”

Special thanks to all my Just GQ readers who continued to check in the GAME in my absence.  I truly appreciate it as Just GQ continues to mature in popularity.  God Bless!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Simple Chivalry

Just GQ strives to represent Gentleman Quality.  I designed the Just GQ brand to be all encompassing of the ideals I find important as well as exposing my fanbase to a new outlook on subjects in journalism.

Now, first and foremost, you all know I give ALL glory, honor, and praise to my Creator, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in ALL I do.  Following that, I aim to promote the regeneration of chivalry.  I have been fortunate to interact with a cornucopia of people containing differing personality types and views on the practice of chivalry and overall treatment of people. 

The adversity I often encounter in discussions with my male peers centers around the degree to which they feel women deserve chivalry and the perceived associated effort  required.  Time to CHECK IN!

Reluctance To Chivalry

Chivalry often carries the deceased toe tag, and that can be explained, in part, by the adage “nice guys finish last.” Young men who strive to grow in becoming gentlemen are frequently considered to be “lame” by societal standards—standards that advocate the sub-par treatment of women and value the feeding of ignorance by the spoonful.  Think on THAT!  

During my high school years, the thug movement was in full effect, but during my time in college, I realized that the bad boy is only appealing until women recognize he is going nowhere fast, then she looks to the gentleman who has been on his grind in a more professional, less boisterous way.  In an effort to win the affection of girls fascinated by thug appeal, though, potential gentlemen may change their approach from a respectable manner, which often only wins friendship, to a method directed by arrogance and devalue, which strangely often translates into her tingling with desire to receive this treatment.  Go figure!

I recently took part in a conversation with a friend of mine who shared her view on the lack of men taking part in courting their love interests, a chivalrous practice.  She detailed instructions from her father to only to consider a man who courted her, but the custom of taking ladies out on dates in order to get to know them has been replaced by “You wanna come to the crib and chill? Maybe watch a movie?”  Frequently, I view guys chasing after ladies; serving up offers for mid-priced dates and unsolicited compliments like Roger Federer at Wimbeldon (SMH), and these women, who possess no interest in a man attempting to pursue her “properly”, take them for all they are worth; using them for date after date until the picture becomes clear that they are being dooped.  Now you tell me, who do you know that would sign up for the possibility of that?

But chivalry encompasses more than wooing a potential mate; chivalry is a lifestyle, a lifestyle that requires a renewing of mindset more so than great effort.  This leads me to think that while chivalry has appeared as an orphan in need of adoption, perhaps a reformation of the gentleman is in order!

~Drumroll PLEASE!~

The New Breed of Gentleman

I humbly propose the idea of a new breed of gentleman.  A breed who carries himself with a regal virility complete with a knowledge of the game and the best methods by which to play it; an all around nice guy with an edge, not simply swagger.  Swagger is a fad, and fads fade, but the gentleman is cool, and cool is forever!

Fellas: Incorporate simple chivalry into your daily routine; chivalry is not meant to be a strain on you, but a means to assert yourself as a gentleMAN!  Allow her to enter the room before you do while you hold the door open for her. If you see her carrying bags, offer to help her, and generate conversation while you help.  Chivalry is essentially the uncommon practice of common courtesy.  RENEW your mentality and change may occur!

Ladies: Be receptive to the gentleman.  Recognize when you are approached correctly, and develop the ability to distinguish common courtesy from pursuit!  It is possible for a man to speak to you without a hidden agenda!  Identify how you truly want to be treated, and seek that!  Avoid settling when you deserve better. 

Once again, thanks for CHECKING IN THE GAME with Just GQ!  See you later this week!  God Bless!