Sunday, January 30, 2011
So, about four years ago, one of my fraternity brothers put me on this unique and rarely realized scenario (YO! to @sircynikal K.S.F.K.O.F.). Please allow me to use this word document as my canvas and these words as the brush and vast catalog of colors with which I will paint this picture. (clears throat) Fellas know that quite frequently in dealing with our female counterparts, interaction can come and go in shifts. One week, you talk on the phone and text regularly, hang out on occasion, then communication ceases for a while, a couple weeks or a month. No big deal, though, that is just the way it goes, right? Right. This type of behavior has become normal and unworthy of commentary EXCEPT when you hit…(drumroll please) Valentine’s Day season!
HEED my advice, for I am here to warn you, telling you to BEWARE of any crafty ladies trying to re-establish communication from January 15th – February 14th,, or Valentine’s Day season, as we will refer to it. Take the scenario into account during your assessment, but frequently this re-established communication is NOT the by-product of an epiphany she suddenly had, where she realized, “Wait a tick! What was I thinking?! Even though I have showed LITTLE TO NO interest for a while now, I was CLEARLY trippin’!”
Ladies usually have strong feelings about Valentine’s Day. Some love it, some hate it, some love to hate it, and some hate that they love it. Either way, society and entertainment mediums (movies, songs, etc.) have conditioned our friends, toting two X chromosomes, to long for the romantic expression of feelings they view in movies such as “Sex and the City” and “The Notebook”, among countless other examples.
The correlation is that NO woman wants to be alone on the day dedicated to everyone sipping the proverbial kool-aid and getting love drunk. So, do not fancy yourself an expert fisherman, FINALLY nabbing the apple of your eye. When has a fish EVER just jumped in the boat, ready for consumption (not that women are fish, but you get what I mean.. lol)? The season is the catalyst in this reaction, so take it from me, abstain from ANY activity requiring you to spend anything but time, and WAIT until after the hangover to see if she remembers the interest she expressed during the Valentine’s Day season. In my opinion, then you can clearly judge the sincerity in her inquiry of you.
Thank you for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Be sure to FOLLOW JUST GQ and check me out on OnyxLouisville.com for more posts! God Bless and stay tuned as I will be examining gift ideas for Valentine’s Day!
Posted by GQ50 at 1:38 PM
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Time plays the pivotal role of an unavoidable element involved in every aspect of life, and much like the beat, it goes on and on. The importance of timing can be found in all things from the perfectly orchestrated two-minute drill to convert the deciding score to a clever, comedic punch line in a song or movie to the propensity of a relationship working out properly.
The majority of us can conveniently think of a time when we were genuinely interested in someone, and things, seemingly, matched up rather nicely, but there was just that something, that one thing that stopped us from diving in fully. Perhaps, we had just started a new job, were in the process of relocating, or maybe, just maybe we did not want to be in a relationship at that particular point. Regardless of the specific reason, the more general classification of these circumstances would be “bad timing”. I ask, though, was the timing the actual factor that halted the relationship prior to shifting it into gear, or was it a simple case of greater than, less than?
I realize that last comment probably took some of you back to a time with the miniature desks that I probably could only fit a thigh into with my adult frame, but ponder that for a second. Could we break it down to just saying, “Other things were more important”? Naturally, we create hierarchies of ideas in order of importance, and if something is of the highest level of importance, would the associated effort not be worth it? Perhaps, we may take a more analytical approach and feel that the return would not justify the time we would invest.
I believe there is vacant space for multiple schools of thought—or perhaps a fusion of the bunch. While I am a PROUD advocate for not entering into something, unless you feel confident in your ability to give 100%, I, also, believe we make time for the things we want. If we do not want something badly, then one can usually view a direct correlation to the effort given. Is it possible that that is where the “bad timing” lies—in our desire to sacrifice for a potentially great relationship; to sacrifice our own agendas, be that the single life or dreams of living abroad? Think on that, and let me know what YOU think!
Thank you for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Be sure to FOLLOW JUST GQ and check me out on OnyxLouisville.com for more posts! God Bless!
Posted by GQ50 at 4:04 PM
Thursday, January 20, 2011
As I have continued my workout regiment in this first month of the year, I realized that the vacancies at exercise stations have become increasingly non-existent. While angry and puzzled, I took time to think about what might be causing this influx of formally absent people seeking self-improvement, and then, it hit me like a hydraulic-powered obstacle on “Wipeout”. NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS! As I drifted further into thought, pondering why this inconvenience always only lasts until mid-February, I decided that I attribute the lack of successful resolutions, even until June, to the manner in which we set goals.
Too often, much like a third baseman, who bulked up in the off-season, we try to go for the homerun during the first at bat. Translation for my non-sports aficionado readers— setting the bar too high for unobtainable goals. Baby steps are a tool that does not get used enough. Know yourself, and know your limitations. For this edition of Just GQ, I have cited a few steps for more effective goal setting and obtaining those very goals.
1. Identify: Clearly identify the goals, which you desire to obtain by writing them down and placing them in a highly visible area. Make sure to be specific in your identification, as specificity serves as a key element for focus on your goals. Place your goal sheet in a highly visible area so that they remain fresh in your mind, and you can better hold yourself accountable.
2. Map A Plan: Break the path to your goal down into smaller, intermediate steps. Use these steps as mini battles and opportunities for accomplishments, which will build your confidence and help you see the feasibility of accomplishing your larger goal. Mapping a plan will help you to chart your progress and further recognize your potential in the pursuit of your goals.
3. Stick to the Script: Once you have identified your plan, the most important thing is putting your plan into action and sticking to the identified course. A simple task, at first glance, but the key is remaining motivated. Constantly focus your mind on why you want to achieve your goal and the desire you possess to achieve that goal. As I previously mentioned, create visual reminders to keep yourself motivated; make it so the reminders of your goal are unavoidable.
Thanks for checking in the game with Just GQ! Be sure to check out www.OnyxLouisville.com, as I will be writing a “Man’s Perspective” column for them. If you are not following Just GQ already, PLEASE do so for e-mail updates on new posts. Thanks, again, and God Bless!
Posted by GQ50 at 6:40 PM
Sunday, January 16, 2011
“One day, all them bags gon’ get in your way, so pack light..” –Erykah Badu
Baggage, a common, yet novel concept; appropriately named, as well. Think about it. The setting is the airport, and you are pressed for time, rushing to catch your flight on “Gotta Get A Boo Airlines” (Yes, that name is copyrighted. Lol). You encounter traffic en route, and you have several bags, which you refused to check, so you have to run with all of them. You realize how difficult it is for you to move forward because of the baggage, observing the other people running for their flights and some giving up, settling for an extended stay in “It Wasn’t Meant To Be City”, waiting for the next trip.
Do you really need your “ex-lover” luggage, your “I’m never letting anyone hurt me” suitcase, AND your “trust no one” toiletry bag? People with baggage tote it because they think they need it or they do not truly want to unload the extra weight. For instance, the majority of us have been hurt in some instance, so as a defense mechanism, we might add a bag by putting up a wall in defense of that event repeating itself. So, does that mean for every time someone has lied to us, talked bad about us, or wronged us in any way we put up a wall? No. If that was the system everyone adopted, all of us would be fully enclosed and incapable of meaningful human interaction, which is not a productive manner to live. People who live fearful of everything, render themselves unable to gain anything. Others may continue their backpacking because they do not feel “ready” for a relationship or progressive interface.
If one desires significant interaction, the bags must get checked in order for the relationship to reach its full potential. Allowing oneself to get weighed down by the past inhibits the future, and honesty with self, also, holds pertinent importance, as true evaluation of the hoisted baggage must take place to move past it.
Thanks for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Stay tuned for more posts this week! Feel free to leave your comments on the blog! God Bless! Oh, and do NOT forget to FOLLOW JUST GQ! Click the “Follow” button in your right panel! Thanks! è è è
Posted by GQ50 at 11:50 AM
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Good day, Just GQ Readers! For today's post, I will be replaying "Pride In My Duffle Bag". Just GQ has been making moves, as I have been brought on to write for a couple online magazines. I will post the details as they develop to keep all of you informed. Stay tuned because I will be posting a new Just GQ tomorrow! Now, approach the scorer's table and CHECK IN THE GAME!
Men and women both have their proud moments, where you KNOW you are wrong or you KNOW what to do to make a situation improve, but instead of working towards what is important to you, you decide to be spiteful and further the feud. Most of you have seen the blockbuster, “The Break-Up”, starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. For those of you who have never had the opportunity to check it out, allow me to briefly sum it up for you as the subject for today’s Just GQ blog derives from the lessons of this movie.
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn open up the movie as a happy couple, who lives together, but almost immediately, the arguments commence when the pair prepares a dinner party for their families. Both parties enter the house exhausted from a long day’s work. Vaughn picked up lemons at Aniston’s request, but the number of lemons purchased did not match the expected amount. When Aniston complains, Vaughn minimizes her complaint, stating that he does not see the purpose in that many lemons for decoration, pegging it as a waste of money. Following a rather weird dinner (“Gary, on the kickdrum, come, come on the kickdrum.” Lol.), a pile of dirty dishes, which Vaughn claimed he would help Aniston wash, sat in the sink, as Vaughn reclines on the couch to relax a little after dinner. An IRATE Aniston intensely inquires as to why she is not receiving the aforementioned help with the dishes, citing that she wants Vaughn to want to do the dishes. An argument is birthed from a lack of understanding between the two.
At the conclusion of the spat, Aniston hastily breaks up with Vaughn, which she did NOT truly want, expecting Vaughn to grovel and feel remorse for his actions or lack there of. Instead, Vaughn, puzzled by her reaction to a moderate fight, does the opposite and embraces the break up. At this point, the subsequent events include an exchange of “I’m going to show him/her” actions which only drive the couple further apart until apologies are exchanged, but the damage is insurmountable and the couple finalizes the break-up with the sale of their jointly owned condominium.
Sound the horn. Time to CHECK IN!
While the movie exaggerated certain actions of the couple for entertainment purposes, the premise and purpose for the movie mirrors relationship dynamics encountered daily. Man does small things to agitate woman, woman gets mad and overreacts, man does not know why she acts in such a way and retaliates by being spiteful, and the cycle starts. At the core of the problem lies the cause, a difference in perception between males and females. Are men inconsiderate? Yes. Do women overreact about things? Yes. Since both sexes play a role let’s work towards the solution…TOGETHER!
And thus, I present to you…
The Three C’s of Compatibility: COMMUNICATION, CONSIDERATION, and COMPROMISE
Communication: Communication finds itself at the root of problems and solutions; a lack of it where problems exist and an increase where the solution lies. Drawing from the example above, Vaughn performed a number of inconsiderate acts of which he may or may not have been aware. More than likely, he did not behave inconsiderately on purpose because what is a big deal to women does not always hold true with men, so if something bothers her and he seems unaffected, it is probably because he is unaware of the effect it has on her. A man who truly cares about a woman does not want to hurt her. All to often, women will allow things to slide in hopes they will not be perceived as the “crazy girlfriend”, only to have the acts they hate persist, bringing them to a boiling point at which they blow up and fulfill role anyway. And when women blow up, the explosion usually includes an OVER THE TOP threat of some sort, which causes defenses to go up and fighting to ensue. However, if the FIRST time something occurs that she knows she does not like, she brings it to his attention and says, “This is kind of a big deal for me, and I would appreciate it if you did not do that anymore”, he should respect her request, squashing the problem in the process. This brings me to…
Consideration: Consideration for AND from BOTH parties exemplifies an effort of understanding. If you have communicated to the other party what is important to you, then, if that person cares about you, consideration will be had for your feelings, BUT on the other hand, NO ONE likes a miserable person who has a problem with EVERYTHING. Consideration must be given on the other side as well. Communication, while a great practice to add to your relationship, should not be abused as an avenue to make the other party feel as though they can do NOTHING satisfactory for you. When complaints become too plentiful and erroneous, they WILL be ignored. Communicate the BIG things for you, the “deal breakers” (everything is NOT a big thing). If it is important to make your relationship work, you must be willing to…
Compromise: The third “C” embodies the final piece of the puzzle. Once everything has been placed on the proverbial table, a meeting point must be decided upon. Just as in a long distance friendship, where two people will come together at the midpoint because neither wants the other to have to drive the full distance, two parties MUST meet at the Compromise City so that both parties know the levels of effort and care of the other. A feeling of camaraderie should be present as both parties know they are in it together BOTH attempting to make the relationship work. Understand that you need recognize when someone is trying to understand you & meet you halfway. If you push them away for too long, the desire will subside.
Rarely, will people ALWAYS see eye to eye, so in order to make a friendship or relationship work you must be willing and able to talk about what is important to you (communication), think about what is important to the other person (consideration), and find a middle ground at which both people involved can coexist happily (compromise).
Thanks for checking in the GAME once again! I hope this blog has been entertaining and educational! Continue to leave questions and comments, and I will continue writing about what you want! God Bless!
Posted by GQ50 at 11:59 AM
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
As you can tell by taking a look at the panel to your right, I am a proud member of THE KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INCORPORATED, founded January 5th, 1911. On this day, 100 years ago, the GREATEST fraternity in the world began a prestigious tradition of “achievement in every field of human endeavor”. Now, I understand that my enthusiasm just might outweigh yours, so allow me to reel it back in.
What does Kappa mean to me?
Tradition of family. I became a member of the “Arrogant” Alpha Omicron Chapter in spring of 2007 (Shoutout to K.S.K.D.) as a legacy, continuing the tradition my dad began in fall of 1972. Now, the Greek tradition in my family runs far and wide. From my AKA mom to AKA and Delta aunts, Kappa uncles, and Que, AKA, Alpha, & Kappa cousins, I was no stranger to “Greekdom”, as it is commonly described. For a little background, I admire my dad a great deal. He is everything I aspire to be, so needless to say, I strive to make he and my mom proud everyday. A number of specific moments stand out in our parent-child interaction, and among those, I will never forget the proud look I received as my dad gripped me for the first time at my intake ceremony, almost four years ago. It was a look that filled me with a sense of achievement and well doing; a look that signified he was pleased with the continuance of Kappa men in our family. I will always cherish that memory, and I hope I will be able to share a moment much like that one with my son as he furthers the tradition.
Brotherhood. In all groups of people, there are some with whom you grow closer in comparison to the whole. I can truly say that a number of my best friends—true best friends, friends who have had my back in good times and bad, told me what I needed to hear, instead of what I wanted to hear, and friends who have lifted me back up when I was down—are my fraternity brothers. As I have progressed in my schooling and life, in general, I have experienced the true brotherhood of Kappa men when the only common ground was just that, Kappa Alpha Psi, and in return, the only request was to assist the next young brother who needs help. True brotherhood.
Achievement. This is the foundation and fundamental purpose of the fraternity. Think about this for a second. ACHIEVEMENT IN EVERY FIELD OF HUMAN ENDEAVOR. That means excellence across the board. Excellence started by the achievement of TEN ILLUSTRIOUS MEN, the founders of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Incorporated, who began this African American fraternity in the land of the Ku Klux Klan, amidst adversity of which one can only dream. Imagine being unable to sit in the classroom and learn with the rest of your peers but persevering despite the odds. Imagine having to always be fearful of your life while you matriculate through school en route to earning a college education. Imagine fostering an organization at Indiana University in 1911 that, now, sees distinguished gentlemen achieve daily, inspired by the example set by these men. “YO” to ALL THE DISTINGUISHED MEN OF KAPPA ALPHA PSI on this day of celebration! Kappa is more than the shimmy, throwing the “YO”, and making envious guys mad (partially because the Nupes WILL steal your girl.. Lol). Kappa Alpha Psi is a tradition centered in brotherhood and achievement in every field of human endeavor. So “I lift a cup of joy and health to every brother here” on this and everyday. Cheers to achievement of self, achievement as a khapter, and achievement as an organization! YO YO!
Spring 2007 - K.S. Konflikt Diamonds
Tre’ Klub, Tail, Rokk
Posted by GQ50 at 4:06 PM