Monday, May 30, 2011

The "A" in Achievement Stands For Asterisk

I visited Old Navy in search of some light wash jeans at an affordable price (I practice smart shopping. lol), and as I continued on my search, I ran into someone I knew from my high school years in Evansville, IN (a white male, for the record). During our conversation, we filled each other in our personal progressions along with those of our mutual friends. I gained the news that one of my friends from high school, who happens to be bi-racial, recently graduated with his Masters degree in business from Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business, a top 20 U.S. institution and now works for a top global accounting firm. Big things right? In my jubilation for my friend’s accomplishments, I was interrupted by the unsolicited comment from my acquaintance with whom I was talking that simply stated an asterisk need to be placed by his success because he was “a smart black guy” (record skip—now, what now?). Initially, I paused thinking that maybe I misunderstood the comment, and just as I was about to chalk it up to not listening well, he reiterated his sentiment as calmly as saying, “It’s about 75 degrees today.”

Dumbfounded, I immediately exited before I reacted irrationally, but continuing my day, I thought to myself, “Will this mentality ever change? Is it my job to change it? Are ignorant people simply ignorant and should not be paid any mind?”

Now, a little background on myself for you. I grew up with diverse groups of people; male, female, Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Indian, upper class, middle class, lower class (according to socioeconomic standards) and everyone in between. With that being said, I learned the arts of inclusion, acceptance, and striking common ground with others to increase comfort levels at a young age. In my interactions with different races, as the subject inevitably arises, I make sure they know I avoid racial slurs and derogatory comments so to make sure they know racism occupies no real estate in my state of mind. At NO point in time do I want my Black or non-Black friends to think that I share in any discriminatory thoughts/feelings about any ethnic group, especially, my own. I, like numerous others, have encountered racism, prejudice, discrimination, and general ignorance on a semi-regular basis since I first read the word “nigger” in a Ben Carson autobiography when I was in about the 3rd grade.

I attempt to extract knowledge from every experience I encounter, and the ones immersed in race relations bear no exception. The presence of the aforementioned states of thought never ceases to amaze or surprise me, and perhaps, in a cynical manner of thinking, I prepare myself for true feelings of prejudice to surface sooner or later through ascending a guard of low expectations for others. As racial conflicts have arisen throughout my life, some have been resolved with words, some through other means, and some have gone unresolved. I will remind you of one of my best friends who was murdered last September in a hate crime, so if I seem sensitive to this subject, it is because I am tired. Tired of being surrounded by prejudice, racial insensitivity, and general ignorance with no desire to increase knowledge, which brings me back to yesterday.

I understand that people possess various feelings on the subject, so I would genuinely like to hear from you, the reader. What do you think? Do you feel that it is not that big of a deal? Do you feel that we, as a people, need to accept the ignorance and continue on in our pursuit of progression? Is it not our fight to fight?

Thanks for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Stay tuned for updates on the NEW, as we near its launch! God Bless!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Best Foot Forward In ACTION!

Good morning, Just GQ readers! I frequent the subject of my Best Foot Forward platform, so I thought for today's FIRST blog (yes, there will be another one later on in the day), I would let you all see BFF in action! Enjoy! Also, subscribe to the Just GQ YouTube Channel for all the Just GQ vlogs AND MORE!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Late Night With The Gentleman (Vlog)

I was up on the late night tip a few nights ago, so I thought I would check in with the readers as the launch date for rapidly approaches! Enjoy!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Love From Afar

Due to the nature of my childhood in which I moved semi-frequently, I learned the importance of maintaining relationships regardless of geographical location. The fact of the matter lies in that friendships possess a conditional nature of sorts, a threshold for the necessary effort. When miles, states, and sometimes oceans fill the physical gap previously occupied by maybe a few streets, some “friends” pull the “this is my stop” cord and conveniently opt out of a friendship that requires additional energy. The same holds true in the ever-controversial construct that is… (cue dramatic music “dun dun dun”)— the long distance relationship. (*collective gasp!*)

The masses speak poorly of this type of relationship because long distance relationships embody the polar opposite of convenience, the direct contrast of simplicity. Relationships within the same city or state provide difficulties within themselves – commitment, compromise, and communication, not to mention trust. When couples add complication with differing area codes, reevaluation must take place. “How valuable is this? How much effort are we willing to expend to make this work? Would we be better off just maintaining contact until we can be in the same place together?” These are only a few examples of the posed questions that need to be asked in order to properly evaluate the situation.

Now, I could paint a clean, pretty picture of flowers, clouds, and hearts with Crayola™ watercolors to depict long distance relationships, however that would NOT be Just GQ, would it? Personally, I have taken part in a number of long distance relationships, dating back to my high school years. Some of them have been positive experiences, from which lifelong friendships were born, and others crashed in flaming messes nose-diving into a sea of resentment and ruined opportunity. This unpredictable imbalance exhibits the risk potential participants in the long distance sweepstakes assume.

While I am not an expert, I have, through my experiences, acquired a bit of knowledge, and from that knowledge, I feel that I am able to identify points of emphasis to make the distance less of a factor.

Communication: As the cornerstone of general human interaction, open and honest communication situates itself in the premier position within long distance relationships. Since physical encounters may very well be limited to a few times a month, conversation serves as the new manner of regular interaction. Beyond the daily conversation, open, honest communication holds a high degree of significance because through that avenue, potential conflicts, blowups, and arguments can be mitigated to normal, calm discussion. If something bothers you, voice it, so the gripe can be addressed, resolved, and from there, progression may occur.

Quid Pro Quo: Simply said “this for that”. Concessions are not meant to be one-sided; if they are then a problem most likely exists. Identify issues MOST critical to the overall happiness of the involved parties, and resolve them through MUTUAL concessions. Remaining hung up on trivial matters and/or complaining about everything gets annoying and will not bode well for the continuation of the relationship down the road.

Maintenance/Planning: As humans, we are weak and need reminders of why we do the things we do. With that said, KEEP YOURSELF TOGETHER! Nothing Almost nothing is worse than waiting 5 weeks to see someone, and they look like trash on a stick! Ladies, MAKE SURE that hair, those nails, those clothes (or lack there of) are impeccable. Fellas, keep that facial hair trimmed, the lines tight, and everything smooth. AND everyone PLEEEEASE keep those bodies together è click here to ‘get right’ (PLUG)! Make plans prior to the visit to do something fun and unique, so the visits will be memorable. These memories serve as reminders of why the involved parties got involved in the first place.

All jokes aside, relationships are difficult enough without adding unpredictable factors such as distance, but if the participants work together to make it work, there is no reason why it should not. Care, communication, and chemistry propel relationships, and regardless of location, the pillars remain the constant and viable.

Thanks for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Follow me on Twitter for updates @GQ50! COMING SOON!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Gentleman’s Wingtips to Victory

Following a 21-point demolition of the Miami Heat at the hands of the Chicago Bulls, LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, and surprisingly Udonis Haslem led Miami to a Game 2 victory, evening the Eastern Conference Finals at one game a piece. On the Western Conference side, the Dallas Mavericks claimed an early 1-0 lead in the series, propelled by a dynamic 48-point performance by their general Dirk Nowitzki; a performance that saw him go for an NBA record 24-24 from the charity stripe. In today’s Just GQ, I wanted to take a look at “The Gentleman’s Wingtips to Victory” in these riveting NBA Playoffs.

Miami Heat – Just GQ’s Champion

After my squads got bounced from the tournament (Celtics & Pacers; don’t judge me), I threw my support to the Miami Heat. With the Big 2 & a Possible at the helm (word to Michael Smith) of the Heat attack, I just cannot bet against them. I think in order for the Heat to acquire their first Eastern Conference crown since 2006, LeBron James and Dwayne Wade must remain consistent while receiving bench help. Last night’s game displayed the reserved energy and consequential production the Big 2 can muster when the Heat get help doing the dirty work—diving for loose balls, offensive/defensive boards, tough interior defense. Udonis Haslem’s energy and production, point, boards, and no statistical categories, allowed the Big 2 to focus on utilizing their athleticism to generate easy scoring opportunities. Continuation of this production from the other Heat members bodes well in the their quest for a championship.

Chicago Bulls

The key for the Bulls is simple. Support for, MVP, Derrick Rose. While a dynamic player and well deserving of all the recognition he receives, the Bulls cannot shut down altogether when Rose is unable to perform up to the standard fans have become accustomed to seeing, which is what occurred in Game 2. The multitude of Heat defenders thrust at Rose forced him to experience a 7-23 shooting night producing 21 points. No secret exists in acknowledging D. Rose as the Bulls’ number one option but who else? He needs a supporting cast! Boozer is inconsistent. Taj Gibson and Joakim Noah bring great energy but cannot be counted on to generate substantial amounts of points. Luol Deng’s 17 point, 6 rebound playoff average probably embodies the Bulls’ second option, however when Deng usually bears the burden of guarding one, LeBron James, is it fair to depend on him to be the only other viable option besides Rose?

Dallas Mavericks – Just GQ’s Western Conf. Pick

Behind their general, 7-foot sharp shooter Dirk Nowitzki, the Dallas Mavericks boast a host of weapons including three-point shooting powers, Jason Terry, Peja Stojakovic, and reformed point guard turned “2”, Jason Kidd. In addition to those perimeter predators, the Mavs, arguably the most complete team remaining in the Playoffs, possess energy role players, who complete the squad, in Shawn Marion, Tyson Chandler, and Jose Barea, the fearless 6-foot point guard, who complemented Nowitzki’s showing with a 21-point exhibition of his own. For the Mavs, frequently characterized as the team who cannot get over the hump, to come out of the West and potentially find themselves atop the league as champions, they must, simply, be the Dallas Mavericks. They must utilize the plentiful weapons they possess along with the abundance of experience and leadership, which fills their roster, and allow it to boost them to heights unreached in the past.

Oklahoma City Thunder

Down 1-0, the young upstart Thunder are far from out of the Western Conference Finals, however in order for them to be victorious in the WCF and perhaps further, they must mitigate the confusion over who runs the show, while still providing support to, scoring champion, Kevin Durant. Russell Westbrook, a great player—yes, needs to remember that he is, indeed, Russell Westbrook and not Derrick Rose. He also must keep near the forefront of his mind that his teammate, not adversary, is none other than the most prolific scorer in a league that houses great point producers such as Kobe Bryant and the aforementioned LeBron James. Westbrook must serve as a point guard, and by doing so, he will not need to force shots because easier scoring opportunities will come his way due to the necessary attention that must be paid elsewhere to the other Thunder scoring threats.

Thanks for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Leave your comments on the blog, and stay tuned for more posts! God Bless!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Ultimatum

In yesterday’s post, which addressed the phenomenon, jealousy/envy, I briefly touched on the “pseudo ex”. For those of you who have not kept current with your Just GQs *cough cough*, I will redefine what I meant by the “pseudo ex” via The Big Green Monster.

Pseudo ex: “…in the new age of dating, where men and women act as though they retain either an allergy to or obsession with titles, pseudo exes describe those who serve as the “pretty much” boyfriend or girlfriend.”

So with the definition clarified, the question remains: how does someone end up a pseudo ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Well, speaking as someone with more pseudo exes than actual exes, I place titled relationships on an elevated pedestal as the majority of the population does. I believe everyone holds unique, personal conditions for which they must mentally prepare prior to voluntarily accepting the title “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. For some, the monogamy thing stands in their ways; they do not want to only be with that one person. For others, they may genuinely be focused on their professional and/or personal progression and do not want to divide that focus for someone else. Personally, while the previous two examples received significant thought and concern, my number one stipulation lies in the consideration that I am willing to give another person and whether I can increase it to a level that will be satisfactory to my mate. As I stated before, I take titled relationships seriously, so if I know that I will be unable to perform up to my standard, I respectfully decline the invitation to be someone’s boyfriend.

Now once people hear the statement of decline, usually one of three reactions will occur.

  1. They ignore: People may confuse hearing “not interested” with “try harder”; easily confusable right? Sike ya’ mind. Generally speaking, the people who ignore declined invitations are proud people not used to hearing “no” or people who are truly believe that the person they are pursuing is worth humbling themselves to continue after rejection.
  2. They retreat: Another reaction people exhibit is full retreat, acting as if the conversation never even occurred. Some may try to go back to the type of interaction prior to, while others may disappear and not acknowledge the person they previously pursed.
  3. They befriend: The strategists befriend. They attribute the received rejection to poor timing, not knowing each other well enough, or any other circumstance that does not convey a mismatch. Those who befriend usually take it back to the drawing board and begin formulating their new strategy to win the one they desire.

As the pursuer actively subjects herself to the befriend—propose exclusivity—get rejected—re-strategize—befriend cycle in her quest for the apple of her eye, one could understand how frustration would build. At this point the title of this post becomes a pretty appealing option, as the person in pursuit clearly wants to be with the pursued party, but the pursuer begins to feel foolish in this perceived one-sided affair. At this time, something like the following dribbles from the fatigued pursuer’s lips, “Look, I’m tired of chasing you. Either we are going to be together or…”

Anything after the “or…” does not really matter, as it will most likely fall on deaf ears. Why people think this is an innovative, effective strategy baffles me. I will go ahead and say that anyone who exclusively chases for that long has my admiration because I KNOW I could never do that, but I digress. People configure the limits of other parties’ preparation and feel that after 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, they should be aptly prepared to be in an exclusive, monogamous relationship. In that exists an underlying fallacy because as a separate party, you cannot estimate another person’s prep time especially if the other party has maintained a lack of receptiveness to the idea. Presenting an ultimatum in most cases results in about a…let me see… carry the 3… a 0.03% success rate! The people who find success in forcing someone into exclusivity may find themselves getting cheated on or in a short relationship as that relationship was not where the other party wanted to be in the first place.

Speaking from experience, it is very possible to possess a desire to enter into an exclusive relationship with someone, but that desire may be deterred by poor timing, extenuating circumstances, or general emotional unpreparedness, which in waiting for its passing may extend the nonexclusive phase. We are unable to decide what is appropriate for others, so we should turn the focus to ourselves. If you feel that too much time has elapsed and you want to be elsewhere, then go. The other party has no choice but to respect your decision made in your best interest. Nagging, complaining, and presenting ultimatums will only lengthen the aforementioned phase or end everything altogether. If you choose to hang around, that too is a perfectly acceptable course of action but understand that if that door is chosen, you possess limited input rights because you have knowingly chosen to continue without a title. A relationship without a title makes commitment optional.

Thanks for checking in the game with Just GQ! We have made MAJOR strides on, which is nearing its launch date! Please leave your comments and STAY TUNED for more Just GQ! God Bless!

Monday, May 16, 2011

The Big Green Monster

Commonly visited themes in all aspects of life, jealousy and envy manifest in those with slow trigger fingers on the 12-gauge that is opportunity (please excuse the violent reference). The reasons for missed or failed opportunity vary as people’s personalities often do, however the jealousy and envy seeps in following the actual action or lack there of occurs. First, let’s decipher between these two terms, as 94.43% of the human population does not truly know the difference. Jealousy refers to overly intensive protection of something that is YOURS, whereas envy refers to feelings of intense desire to have something that belongs to SOMEONE ELSE, like a material possession, achievements, status, or a boyfriend/girlfriend. Uh oh. *Approaches scorer’s table* Time to check in! (sounds horn)

Disclaimer: No names have been used to protect the identities of the involved parties.

Once upon a time, I had an ex-girlfriend (shocking, right?), and this particular ex-girlfriend was no good for me from the jump, probably a solid reason as to why she is my ex. She displayed jealous behavior the ENTIRE time we talked and became envious afterwards. I mean she is, to this day, manipulative, two-faced, and dishonest. Yeah, I think that is a pretty accurate depiction.

In addition to my ex-girlfriends, I have acquired a number of pseudo exes over the years. What is a pseudo ex, you ask? Well, in the new age of dating, where men and women act as though they retain either an allergy to or obsession with titles, pseudo exes describe those who serve as the “pretty much” boyfriend or girlfriend.

After breaking up with these two classes of exes, friendship can ensue, but whether that friendship is of genuine or circumstantial nature fails to be seen until one or both parties move onto new interests. At this point, behaviors may alter, as facades disappear and true motives become revealed. In the case of my aforementioned ex, she seemed to pack sabotage in her purse every time I saw her after the break-up. When she saw me with another girl, she caused scenes to transfer the focus to her. When I got a new girl, she talked bad about her to anyone who had ears and provided the FedEx “same day” delivery of nasty looks whenever possible.

I have also, like many others, been on the receiving end of the comments, looks, etc. I will admit, though, the salty ex-boyfriend, or SXBF for the sake of saving characters, has always impressed me as quite the comedic character, which a large part of why I cannot allow myself to be that guy. The SXBF is pretty much, an overly emotional sucker, in my opinion, and while every man plays this role at least once, the important thing to remember is to NOT REPEAT that behavior because you look weak very weak!

When one’s mental capacity succumbs to envy, his/her ability to progress becomes paralyzed, and regret, progression’s antagonist, takes over. The person who writhes in envy allows their actions and emotions to be propelled by the regret of missed opportunity. If you see that someone wants to be in your spot, simply recognize it as envy and continue on, failing to acknowledge the cry for attention. When people feel as though they need to put on a performance for you, that is, essentially, the proverbial white flag waving, proclaiming you as the victor. The key lies in progression versus regression. Do not view someone else’s happiness with disgust because when your disgust monopolizes your focus, YOU LOSE!

Thanks for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Leave your comments on the blog, and stay tuned for more posts! God Bless!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

King James' Return to Royalty

Can we talk about this guy LeBron James one time? For those of you who did not see Game 5 against the Celtics last night, the Heat were able to close out the series with a 10-point victory in Miami, advancing the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since Dwayne Wade and Shaquille O’Neal claimed the organization’s first championship in 2006. CAN YOU DIG IT? (Shaq voice) But I digress. Everybody holds a degree of familiarity with “The Decision” and the path Mr. James traveled from America’s darling to the most HATED man in sports or the new Kobe, if you will (I realize that was petty).

No greater story existed this NBA offseason than the rock star ascension to fame that was Miami’s “Big 3”. Perennial all-stars, Chris Bosh (the weak link) and LeBron James, joined Dwayne Wade in hopes of not only bring one, but a multitude of championships to the Sunshine State.  However, during the season, the media, as well as random people with biased opinions had a field day proclaiming failure on the offseason blockbuster siginings, as the Heat started off rough, displaying trouble in deciphering the roles of its players, specifically in the crucial moments of the game.  With just a month remaining in the regular season, the Miami franchise not-so-boasted the NBA’s worst final seconds FG percentage hitting just 1 of 14 (7.14%) game-tying or game-winning shots in the last 10 seconds of regulation and/or overtime, and the majority of those misses traced back to the hands (and crown) of King James.

Fast forwarding to last night, the Celtics led for virtually the entire game, which like Game 4, an OT victory by the Heat in Boston, was not decided until late in the 4th quarter. At that time, King James mounted his throne, playing like many had forgotten he was capable. James put Boston away orchestrating a personal 10-0 in the final two minutes en route to a 33-point, 7 rebound, and 4 assist performance complementing 34 points, 10 rebounds, 5 assists, and 4 steals by Wade. That late game exhibition reminded many of his unforgettable performance against Detroit, when in Cleveland. In that Game 5, coincidentally, he scored a playoff-career high, 48 points, but more impressively, the then 22-year-old racked up 29 of his team’s last 30 points in the victory.

Fans and critics of LeBron James, alike, must tip their hats to the captivatingly explosive athlete, who displayed his ability to make shots from outside, inside, and in between when his team needed him and the game was on the line. Kudos to LeBron James, as that performance earned him the “Gentleman’s Stamp of Approval”! 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Broaden the Scope!

Welcome. Let’s just go ahead and get into it! To achieve is to “reach or attain a desired objective, level, or result by effort, skill, or courage”. Now, with that in mind, take a minute for an activity. Either mentally, on your computer, or with a pen and paper jot down the goals you plan to attain.

Finished? Now, obviously I have no means of knowing what exactly you wrote down, however, I would be willing to bet that if I told you to make your goals more grand or more expansive you could. Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong, BUT why is this not the normal scope through which we view our potential, our ability to achieve. Why do we give ourselves alligator arms when reaching for success?

As I completed my undergraduate curriculum, taking the capstone course for my major, my professor encouraged all of his students to organize their goals in a manner that supported progressive thinking and realization of potential. He urged us to set our goals in three categories:

Short Term: Short term goals are obviously of a more immediate nature, but with that said, the time periods’ length is relative to the greater timeline. Personally, my short term goals span from 6 months to a year.

Long Term: Conversely, long term goals utilize the attainment of short term goals as additional materials to paint the bigger picture. (See what I did there?) Long term goals, typically, range from a minimum of a year to 5+, with no true cap on the time.

B.H.A.G.: My personal favorite of the bunch, this category of goals grants permission to dream absurdly HUGE! I know a lot of you were confused by the acronym, but B.H.A.G. stands for “big hairy audacious goal”. The more ludicrous it sounds to other people (especially the doubters), the better.

Burst through the ceiling, and let the light shine on your pursuit of GREATNESS! No one can stop you but YOU, and I understand that many people say things such as this as clichés, but IT IS TRUE! Society, doubters, and in some cases family and friends attempt to ground those who dare to dream and ACCOMPLISH big, but BROADEN THE SCOPE through which you view your ability to succeed and do just that, SUCCEED!


Pusha T and Kanye Cypher!

I found this as I was perusing YouTube, y'all know I LOVE G.O.O.D. Music! This is for those who share that with me! Hope you enjoy!

Monday, May 9, 2011

And the Winner Is...

First, allow me to thank you all for bearing with me during this last week. I am in the midst of finishing up the first year of my masters, and my time has been very limited. Also, the development of is continuing as we ready for its launch! *sigh* Now that we are all caught up...

When united with someone in a relationship, we experience many a great moments, memories that become engrained into our mental photo albums. However, during break-ups, the contents of those mental photo albums overwhelm us, as we mourn the love that was or celebrate the freedom that is—depending on how you view it, of course. Once the initial sadness subsides, the focus then narrows to moving on, rebuilding, and “winning” the break-up—word to Charlie Sheen. I know that was petty, but I digress.

In pursuit of victory during a break-up bonanza, people, typically, saturate their interactions with feelings of reclamation camouflaged in a cloak of nonchalance. The portrayed façade serves as a strategic tool in directly and/or indirectly manipulating the perception of the former significant other and uninvolved, yet heavily opinionated parties. As friends and acquaintances bombard those involved in the break-up with sincere or sometimes insincere concerns regarding their well-being, the idea is that “if I act like I don’t care, then I won’t care” or “when he/she asks about me, I don’t want him/her to think I am stressing it”.

While in my opinion, I believe this behavior to be somewhat customary and expected, in these situations, I have, to the best of my ability, attempted to shift the allocation of my attention from a portraying false attitude to increased gratitude (please excuse the corny rhyme—shrug). Our past experiences broaden our life acumen, so while understandable, instead of allowing oneself to be consumed by anger and sadness or keeping score in the break up, accept the failed relationship for what it is, a learning experience. Concentrate on the takeaways, and enhance yourself for future interactions because if you are not in a good state on your own, you do not need to depend on someone else to get you there!

Thanks for checking in the game with Just GQ! Please feel free to leave comments and questions, as I love the post discussion! Stay tuned and get ready for! COMING SOON!

Monday, May 2, 2011

What Are We?

Due to my academic pursuit and finals, I am replaying "What Are We" today. I hope you enjoy it!

Joe meets Jane.  Joe asks Jane on a date.  Joe and Jane go on their date and have a lot of fun.  Then, during the next week when Joe and Jane are at the movies, Joe asks, “Where do you see this going?” Jane replies, “I don’t know, but I’m fine with friends, since we are getting to know each other better.” Joe agrees.
Fast forward two months.  Joe and Jane are still hanging out and talking regularly, but when Jane calls Joe to ask if he wants to hang out on a Friday night, Joe declines and informs Jane he made plans to go out to eat with Judy.  How would you feel?

Typically, Jane would feel hurt, as if Joe had done something wrong by going out with another girl because her feelings had deepened since their initial and ONLY conversation.  BUT Joe, in fact, has done nothing wrong because in the conversation regarding the intentions of BOTH parties, FRIENDS was the title upon which Joe AND Jane agreed. 

Women, and sometimes men, have the tendency to commit the other party’s feelings to the level of feelings, which they possess.  In most cases, as a woman’s feelings grow for the man in which she is interested, she will slowly cut off the other men she had previously entertained as she has found whom she wants.  Men, usually, will not do the same, and this basic difference in the mentality of the sexes is what creates, arguably, one of the most frequently encountered topics of disagreement.

Unless, he/she makes a statement declaring a state of monogamy and/or exclusivity, NEVER assume that the other party has stopped talking to other interests.  Personally, when I begin seeing someone, I ALWAYS assume the lady is talking to other guys because if I find her attractive, someone else probably did before me, but people set themselves up to have their feelings hurt when they commit their interest’s feelings to the level at which theirs are.

Now, at this point, I know the ladies who have been in this situation before are rolling their eyes and may be bordering on disgruntled saying, “Who does he think he is? Dr. Phil or somebody? I’m not waiting on him!” 

Chill before you check in.

Due to societal influences, the abundance of other women/men, OR perhaps a simple lack of readiness in mentality for a relationship, your significant other may INITIALLY be reluctant to jump into a relationship.  THE ABSOLUTE WORST thing you can do is force him/her into a relationship for which he/she is not ready!  People who present ultimatums and other methods of forcing a relationship on their interest set themselves up to either get cheated on and/or be in a 10 second relationship, one in which you will NOT enjoy.  If he is worth it, wait, but if he is not, then I think you can deduce what your move will be.

The mentality you SHOULD use, you ask?  I will leave you with an often used adage of mine when talking to women about this subject.  “A man’s uncertainty can drive a woman away, but a woman’s patience will win a man’s commitment.”

Thanks for checking in the game with the Just GQ blog!  As always, it has been a pleasure discussing these topics with you!  GOD BLESS!