Monday, May 16, 2011

The Big Green Monster

Commonly visited themes in all aspects of life, jealousy and envy manifest in those with slow trigger fingers on the 12-gauge that is opportunity (please excuse the violent reference). The reasons for missed or failed opportunity vary as people’s personalities often do, however the jealousy and envy seeps in following the actual action or lack there of occurs. First, let’s decipher between these two terms, as 94.43% of the human population does not truly know the difference. Jealousy refers to overly intensive protection of something that is YOURS, whereas envy refers to feelings of intense desire to have something that belongs to SOMEONE ELSE, like a material possession, achievements, status, or a boyfriend/girlfriend. Uh oh. *Approaches scorer’s table* Time to check in! (sounds horn)

Disclaimer: No names have been used to protect the identities of the involved parties.

Once upon a time, I had an ex-girlfriend (shocking, right?), and this particular ex-girlfriend was no good for me from the jump, probably a solid reason as to why she is my ex. She displayed jealous behavior the ENTIRE time we talked and became envious afterwards. I mean she is, to this day, manipulative, two-faced, and dishonest. Yeah, I think that is a pretty accurate depiction.

In addition to my ex-girlfriends, I have acquired a number of pseudo exes over the years. What is a pseudo ex, you ask? Well, in the new age of dating, where men and women act as though they retain either an allergy to or obsession with titles, pseudo exes describe those who serve as the “pretty much” boyfriend or girlfriend.

After breaking up with these two classes of exes, friendship can ensue, but whether that friendship is of genuine or circumstantial nature fails to be seen until one or both parties move onto new interests. At this point, behaviors may alter, as facades disappear and true motives become revealed. In the case of my aforementioned ex, she seemed to pack sabotage in her purse every time I saw her after the break-up. When she saw me with another girl, she caused scenes to transfer the focus to her. When I got a new girl, she talked bad about her to anyone who had ears and provided the FedEx “same day” delivery of nasty looks whenever possible.

I have also, like many others, been on the receiving end of the comments, looks, etc. I will admit, though, the salty ex-boyfriend, or SXBF for the sake of saving characters, has always impressed me as quite the comedic character, which a large part of why I cannot allow myself to be that guy. The SXBF is pretty much, an overly emotional sucker, in my opinion, and while every man plays this role at least once, the important thing to remember is to NOT REPEAT that behavior because you look weak very weak!

When one’s mental capacity succumbs to envy, his/her ability to progress becomes paralyzed, and regret, progression’s antagonist, takes over. The person who writhes in envy allows their actions and emotions to be propelled by the regret of missed opportunity. If you see that someone wants to be in your spot, simply recognize it as envy and continue on, failing to acknowledge the cry for attention. When people feel as though they need to put on a performance for you, that is, essentially, the proverbial white flag waving, proclaiming you as the victor. The key lies in progression versus regression. Do not view someone else’s happiness with disgust because when your disgust monopolizes your focus, YOU LOSE!

Thanks for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Leave your comments on the blog, and stay tuned for more posts! God Bless!

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