By comparison, it is not at all uncommon for ladies to see a guy and romanticize a first date, relationship, anniversarIES, and “I do’s” in their fairy tale driven minds prior to him saying “So, I’ll pick you up at 7?” Naturally, women desire exclusivity; to be the ONLY person for their mate. Conversely, men think slight—completely different. Let’s talk about the current scenario. Women frequently comment on how a shortage of good guys exists (not exclusive to race), so if one is deemed “a good guy”, odds are he is being or has the potential to be pursued by multiple female interests at a time. Now, in these ladies’ pursuit, an apparent disregard for the competition often conveys a message of “I am the better catch, and I intend on showing you that. I don’t care about the other girl.” With that attitude, if you don’t care, then he most certainly does not either! If you want to compete, then he will provide an arena for you to do so, alternating between candidates. SMH!
In a society growing increasingly more comfortable with a lack of commitment, guys, essentially, find commitment to be optional because, well, it really is, especially when younger. Commitment is rarely respected by other members of BOTH sexes, and the illusion of a PERCEIVED upgrade constantly looms in the wings. For the aforementioned reasons, it is EXTREMELY difficult for a guy, who did not necessarily want a commitment, initially, to fall for someone, letting his guard down completely, benching all the other girls he had on the floor, and completely focusing on one. It leads to an unfamiliar (and often unappreciated) feeling of vulnerability, which makes guys uncomfortable. Additionally, remaining with her through the senseless conflict, now adds anxiety, whereas prior to full commitment, it had been a non-issue, as if one girl tripped, the remedy was only a scroll, selection, and phone call away. *Kanye shrug*
I know all the ladies are heated, thinking or saying, “So what?! We have to do all that too, and I stay when he trips on me. I got plenty of dudes who—“ Chill on that. Keep in mind that you wanted a relationship early in the game. More than likely, a relationship was your objective from the start, as, rarely, do females only want to be someone’s physical outlet. Rebuttal? Thought so; moving right along.
The aim of this post is not to claim that guys invest more in relationships, but to provide perspective of the difficulty involved when he, voluntarily, excuses himself from the game to take a full timeout with you. I, personally, tip my hat to my fellow males and females, who recognize a valid match and commit without straying.
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