Friday, October 15, 2010
I, once, heard that women are confusing, but men are complicated. I understood this to mean that women’s behaviors may never make sense to men, no matter how hard we try to decode and empathize, but with men, you can, at least, grasp what we do and why we do it, whether right or wrong. For the most part, I agree except for what I call the “Too Perfect Complex”. The too perfect complex identifies the propensity of men to run from something that is “too good.” As the majority of women desire love whenever Cupid shows his face, men possess a need to be prepared for a dance with the bow and arrow toting, naked baby.
Meet Dick and Jane.
Dick and Jane had only officially met once, but they had a number of mutual friends who caused them to be in the same places at the same times. Dick can only be described as a man’s man, the life of the party. He had always encountered women pining for his affection, while he rarely took them seriously, as he, like other young men, was just having fun. Jane, an attractive and ambitious woman, remained focused on her progression through school and work while taking rare breaks to have fun but NEVER allowing any man to distract her. Jane, like the majority of women, longed to be loved, romantically, and had been a phenomenal girlfriend in the past, with only rising value as she shined amongst the shortage of attractive, intelligent women striving for success.
During a mutual friend’s cookout, Dick and Jane interacted on a more intimate level, this time with general conversation, jovial joking, and innocent flirting, which progressed to intrigue.
Three months later, in addition to attraction, Dick and Jane have established a genuine mutual care for one another, but had not yet become exclusive. As the period of time, which men are generally allotted by female counterparts to avoid commitment, neared its conclusion, voices of descent (i.e. her hating friends) begin to arise. “Girl, how come y’all not official yet?” “Mm hmm. I would NOT let him test drive the car if he ain’t buyin’!”
First off, tell those heffers to kick rocks. STRAIGHT UP! Now back to the story!
Influenced by the sentiments of her friends, Jane approached Dick with the dreaded, “so when are we going to be together?” When confronted with this question, Dick evaluated what he desired in a mate, and he identified everything he wanted in Jane. Seems like a go, right? WRONG! Dick, then, panicked and felt that he must remove himself from the situation, as Jane’s, inevitable ultimatum drew closer. You see, as I have shared in earlier blogs, an entry into a relationship, on the man’s part, must be an internal decision and NOT one that can be 100% influenced by a woman, no matter how many meals she cooks, rooms she cleans, or “special nights” she plans. Both parties must migrate to exclusivity on their own terms, but women usually happen to reach that destination more quickly than men.
Sometimes it is about the timing; Dick wanted to be with Jane, just not at that moment, and NO ONE is at fault. Dick perceived a potential relationship with Jane as one that would have been of great substance, and his desire to be prepared and willing to HAPPILY commit outweighed his sensitivity to her wanting him to commit ready or not (SHOUTOUT TO THE FUGEES! LOL..). At times, women do not appreciate when they are treated as classy, respectable ladies instead being thrown onto a team, where she will receive only a fraction of the attention, affection, and consideration that she wants, needs, and, most importantly, deserves.
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Posted by GQ50 at 3:11 PM