Now, first and foremost, you all know I give ALL glory, honor, and praise to my Creator, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in ALL I do. Following that, I aim to promote the regeneration of chivalry. I have been fortunate to interact with a cornucopia of people containing differing personality types and views on the practice of chivalry and overall treatment of people.
The adversity I often encounter in discussions with my male peers centers around the degree to which they feel women deserve chivalry and the perceived associated effort required. Time to CHECK IN!
Reluctance To Chivalry
Chivalry often carries the deceased toe tag, and that can be explained, in part, by the adage “nice guys finish last.” Young men who strive to grow in becoming gentlemen are frequently considered to be “lame” by societal standards—standards that advocate the sub-par treatment of women and value the feeding of ignorance by the spoonful. Think on THAT!
During my high school years, the thug movement was in full effect, but during my time in college, I realized that the bad boy is only appealing until women recognize he is going nowhere fast, then she looks to the gentleman who has been on his grind in a more professional, less boisterous way. In an effort to win the affection of girls fascinated by thug appeal, though, potential gentlemen may change their approach from a respectable manner, which often only wins friendship, to a method directed by arrogance and devalue, which strangely often translates into her tingling with desire to receive this treatment. Go figure!
I recently took part in a conversation with a friend of mine who shared her view on the lack of men taking part in courting their love interests, a chivalrous practice. She detailed instructions from her father to only to consider a man who courted her, but the custom of taking ladies out on dates in order to get to know them has been replaced by “You wanna come to the crib and chill? Maybe watch a movie?” Frequently, I view guys chasing after ladies; serving up offers for mid-priced dates and unsolicited compliments like Roger Federer at Wimbeldon (SMH), and these women, who possess no interest in a man attempting to pursue her “properly”, take them for all they are worth; using them for date after date until the picture becomes clear that they are being dooped. Now you tell me, who do you know that would sign up for the possibility of that?
But chivalry encompasses more than wooing a potential mate; chivalry is a lifestyle, a lifestyle that requires a renewing of mindset more so than great effort. This leads me to think that while chivalry has appeared as an orphan in need of adoption, perhaps a reformation of the gentleman is in order!
~Drumroll PLEASE!~
The New Breed of Gentleman
I humbly propose the idea of a new breed of gentleman. A breed who carries himself with a regal virility complete with a knowledge of the game and the best methods by which to play it; an all around nice guy with an edge, not simply swagger. Swagger is a fad, and fads fade, but the gentleman is cool, and cool is forever!
Fellas: Incorporate simple chivalry into your daily routine; chivalry is not meant to be a strain on you, but a means to assert yourself as a gentleMAN! Allow her to enter the room before you do while you hold the door open for her. If you see her carrying bags, offer to help her, and generate conversation while you help. Chivalry is essentially the uncommon practice of common courtesy. RENEW your mentality and change may occur!
Ladies: Be receptive to the gentleman. Recognize when you are approached correctly, and develop the ability to distinguish common courtesy from pursuit! It is possible for a man to speak to you without a hidden agenda! Identify how you truly want to be treated, and seek that! Avoid settling when you deserve better.
Once again, thanks for CHECKING IN THE GAME with Just GQ! See you later this week! God Bless!
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