Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Anything But…“The Friend Zone”

Welcome to the Just GQ blog.  Thanks for checking back in the game.  As the blog gains popularity and receives more hits, I am more and more appreciative of the loyal readers and extend a warm salutation to the new ones. 

Today’s installment concludes the “just a friend” series and discusses the dreaded area in which every guy (and some girls), inevitably, has found himself and/or will find himself at some point—the friend zone.  The friend zone, for those of you scratching your heads, characterizes the space where you place a “too good friend”, the individual whose friendship you value far too much to risk in the crapshoot that is a relationship.  Now, at times that explanation may be sincere but at others it serves as nice method of saying, “I’m not really attracted to you like that, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

One’s distinction of why he finds his feet stuck to the friend zone flypaper plays a pivotal part in whether or not he can escape and be viewed in a varied light.  Please understand, before I continue, that the escape plan for the friend zone is, without a doubt, hit or miss because at its core you have to manipulate her mind to change her view of you, which tends to be a tough task.

Nevertheless, here are three steps used to break the confines of the friend zone: SEPARATE, REDEFINE, and TAKE ACTION.

Separate: The person you desire (male or female) views you a certain way as regular interaction has persisted, SO in order to change his/her view of you, a disappearing act is in order.  You must become Houdini and remove yourself from the friendship for a period of time allowing yourself to be missed.  Communication with the desired party IS vital but only on an occasional basis, as you must stay relevant but distance yourself simultaneously.

Redefine: During the separation phase, you MUST re-identify your mentality and approach.  In most cases, the person longing for a friend’s affection has heard, “I just see you as a friend”, and began to view himself/herself as what they had been defined, “just a friend”.  You must FIRST believe yourself to be the match for your friend because you will eventually have to sell yourself and your potential to your friend once you resurface.  Decipher what traits your friend has identified as attractive in past love interests and customize your approach.  All you need is to be viewed in a new form NOT transform into another person (NEW FORM not TRANSFORM).  You know what she likes too; women tell men what they like in a guy ALL THE TIME—just listen and pay attention (See earlier Just GQ blog as well).

REMEMBER: You already possess a large number of appealing characteristics; you are only missing the allure of a significant other.

Take Action: At this point, you have disappeared for some time. Well, NOW comes the time in which you need to reappear as a NEW, CONFIDENT YOU!  Simply put.  You were timid before; DO NOT be timid once you resurface.  Take charge of the situation and REFUSE to be “just a friend”.  With this mentality, you should be able to finagle your way to AT LEAST a chance, which is all you need.  Once granted a chance, allow your personality coupled with the new revisions to take over.  She is just a girl.  He is just a guy.  Do NOT hype who they are in your heads, turning them into larger than life personas and allowing them to intimidate you.  Confidence is key in everything! 

With all this laid out, I reiterate the difficulty involved in escaping the Alcatraz that is the “friend zone”, BUT the only thing BOTH parties need to know is if the compatibility for more than a friendship exists.  Once that realization comes to fruition, natural progression can take place.

Thanks, once again, for checking in the game early and often!  You could’ve been anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me.  I appreciate that.  Stay tuned to the Just GQ blog as I will keep them coming.  A special thanks goes out to the reader who suggested this topic to me.  I appreciate ALL feedback and input you all give me!  Make sure you all follow the blog and continue to leave your questions and comments on the blog and in the Just GQ inbox (JustGQ50@gmail.com).  GOD BLESS!

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