Monday, June 7, 2010
Now a lot of the time, my messages are catered to my female audience, but in this edition of Just GQ, I want to involve the fellas; ESPECIALLY the overzealous ones when it comes to meeting the ladies. Using this blog as my clay, allow me to sculpt a hypothetical situation.
Of course you recall meeting our friends, Joe and Jane. Well, I would like to introduce you to Albert, Barry, and Carol in this Just GQ installment. One night, Carol and some of her girlfriends have a decently sized “get together” at their house, inviting a vast assortment of people. Now, let me tell y’all about Carol. Carol fits the description of that girl you know; the one who is CLEARLY the superstar in the group and has no shortage of confidence because she knows she is beautiful and EVERYTIME a different guy approaches her, only to get shot down like a skeet in target practice, he only reaffirms her superiority in her own mind. Meet Barry. Barry is a good looking but pretty shameless guy when it comes to girls; he fits the bill of that guy you know who consistently pumps up the egos of girls, much like Carol, in hopes that his flattery will woo her number into his phone and later her panties on his floor. Meet Albert. Albert is that analytical guy you know who assess before action; he sits back and views the interaction of others and customizes his strategy as a tailor customizes a perfectly fitted suit.
FAST FORWARD. Albert and Barry spend about an hour at the soiree, viewing poorly orchestrated attempt after even MORE poorly orchestrated attempt of guys longing for Carol’s interest, THEN “Analytical Albert” and “Brash Barry” decide to take their proverbial swings at talking to Carol. First, Barry approaches Carol in a slick manner fit for any known player, showering her with the same compliments she has heard for the entire night and receives the same result as every other seemingly confident guy that night, REJECTION, while further filling Carol’s gas tank.
Albert thinks more deeply about what he has seen for the duration of the event and observes Carol in a conversation with a small group of her friends. He carefully moves more closely to where he can, for lack of a better term, lightly eavesdrop calculating a time when he can ease into the conversation including Carol’s friends more so than focusing on Carol. As Albert makes a drink he notices the conversation has migrated to the topic of the new iPhone 4 (PLUG!), which appeals to his profound interest and knowledge of high level technology. He, subtly yet not arrogantly, enters the conversation providing more knowledge on some of the iPhone’s new features, adding to the conversation BUT avoiding domination of the conversation (so he does not sound like a “know-it-all”). Albert looks for the feedback of Carol’s friends PRIOR to inquiring what Carol thinks, placing Carol on the same level as her friends. Following a couple laughs, introductions, and brief acknowledgement of the enjoyment of the conversation by all parties, Albert graciously excuses himself and begins to walk to his group of friends, when he hears Carol’s voice. Carol reiterates that she enjoyed talking to Albert and she is delighted he was able to attend her get together. This presents an amicable stage for numbers to be exchanged and a friendship or more to begin. At this point, regardless of who asks for whose number, Carol has CLEARLY chosen.
Let’s analyze. Merriam-Webster defines choosing as selecting “freely and after consideration; to have a preference.” Men approach women incorrectly so often that women tend to have their “no” on deck from the moment their girlfriend says, “Oh girl, he’s coming to talk to you now.” While you think walking up to her with your chest out like a peacock ready to mate is bold and suave, in actuality, you have left yourself exposed to be spotted by the snipers posing as her friends, giving them free reign to talk bad about you BEFORE you even open your mouth! This is what “Brash Barry” did. Even though he watched as Carol turned guy after guy away, he approached with the same compliment based platform (showing NO substance), which Carol denied previously and frequently. “Analytical Albert”, on the other had, entered the situation in a MUCH MORE subtle manner allowing him the opportunity to showcase his personality, garner approval from her friends, and allow Carol to view him without feeling any pressure. Simply put, allow her to be her, you to be you, and see if you click. By walking away BEFORE he wore out his welcome, Albert allowed the parties involved a chance to reflect on their opinions of him and time to discuss their opinions with one another (because women inevitably talk about you to each other!) further urging Carol in one direction. All of this built up to the ultimate conclusion of Carol “choosing” Albert, and thus reinforcing why it is unnecessary, IN MOST CASES, to chase a woman because if she wants you, she will let you know or choose you without your badgering or forcing her to talk to you.
Thanks for checking in the GAME with this edition of the Just GQ blog! Again, it has been a pleasure. Please leave your comments and questions on the blog and/or hit the Just GQ email (JustGQ50@gmail.com).
Posted by GQ50 at 9:35 PM