Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Some call it being “fast”, while others feel it may be “unladylike” or not their responsibility. Whatever the reason, a class of women exists who lean on the thought process that “if he wants you, he will come get you.” (sigh) Now, while the aforementioned thought process does hold a degree of truth, please excuse my partisan opinion on this matter. This has been a MAJOR pet peeve of mine since I started dating, mostly because I am of the “don’t chase because chicks choose” team.
As I reminisce about the 15 year old version of myself, I remember meeting a girl. Let’s call her Savannah. Savannah, an attractive high school sophomore, was sought after by numerous guys in our and neighboring high schools. Following an introduction of Savannah to 15 year old me, we struck a conversation founded on common interests, which created a mutual desire to continue conversing at a later time, and with that, I suggested that we exchange numbers. Now, I will level with you all, since as far back as I can remember, I have been getting numbers, and for that same amount of time, I have RARELY been calling (I know, I know). However, this has not been an intentional habit, simply a consistent slippage of the mind, if you will, although, I did, eventually, call Savannah and we spoke for a standard 20-30 minute “getting to know you” phone call.
A couple days after our phone conversation, Savannah approached my locker and said, “I need to talk to you, call me tonight.” I replied by asking, “Why would I call you when you want to talk?” It was at that point that Savannah broke down the dynamics of her thought process, which yielded the rule of “ladies” needing to do nothing to show interest and should wait idly until they are fully pursued, and when I say “wait idly”, I mean performing nothing but ambiguous signs that can easily be misconstrued as friendly interaction.
Please do not mistake my stance on this issue as a plea to the female gender to act in an obsessive and/or promiscuous manner. My main beef with this state of thought correlates with the denseness of the male species. Men are utterly oblivious to hints, so thinking that indistinct actions will catch our attention is futile. Guys need billboards to get the message, so if you are sending middle school notes, you may get overlooked, and if that does occur, it is not his fault. You cannot blame someone for what they do not know.
Secondly, it is 2011; if women are equal and independent in EVERY other sense, then, surely, suggesting a phone number exchange or even a meeting of some sort (dinner, drinks, etc.) would be well within the expected capabilities. Do NOT miss out on potentially great relationships because of a refusal to take matters into your own hands! It does not make you fast (within reason); it shows initiative in pursuing what you want! If he wants you, he will make it happen. This is true, but the same truth applies on the other end.
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Posted by GQ50 at 12:13 PM