Wednesday, April 27, 2011
“Well, he should know when and why I’m mad.”
In this statement lies one of the great fallacies in relations between the sexes. Communication, while one of the most basic concepts, remains in a class of the most elusive and difficult to implement. Problems arise as a natural part of life and interaction, but those problems cannot be resolved unless the element of communication is undertaken. Without it, issues may wear a costume of resolution when, in fact, that costume is comprised of 25% neglect and 75% ignore (sold at a store near you)!
Men and women function differently. What angers men may not anger women and vice versa. We possess various triggers, which anger us in a cornucopia of fashions, and a potential inability to initially understand all of the differences is to be expected. However, as interactions progress, so must the involved parties’ ability to increase transparency. Transparency cannot be found in actions filled with guards in an upright position, self-consciousness, or games being played. It can be found in honesty regarding feelings and expectations. Additionally, being transparent promotes finding a match in expectations or detecting where a fit does not exist, saving valuable time, effort, and money in some cases.
Relationships occur in stages, among those: pursuit, exclusivity, and the honeymoon period. Following the honeymoon period, the work begins, and when the work begins, the effectiveness of the communication directly correlates with the effectiveness of the relationship as a whole. As you have heard me say before, relationships are voluntary, so with that in mind, who would willingly subject himself/herself to entry into a relationship with a closed off, semi-transparent person? Would you? What would be the point of that? When things get rough in one's dealings with the other, shutting down is the worst available option because when the involved parties shut down, nothing can get accomplished.
Posted by GQ50 at 3:08 AM